12WBT - Bring it on!!!

Hello!!
I'm Nicky, a brand new 12wbt-er. I'm a 28yo Stay At Home Mum of 2 - a 4yo boy and a 2yo girl. I live in the middle of nowhere, in Country Vic. I have a husband 28 who is a big softie and a bit of an enabler, but I've finally put my foot down and TOLD him that he's doing this with me! It's time for us to change. To become amazing role models for our amazing children. To enjoy our lives.

So, how did I get here, to the 12wbt? I don't know what's happened. Something has finally clicked. Maybe it's the embarrassment of trying to drag this 150kg body around a netball court in LYCRA? Maybe it's the knee and ankle issues I'm having (that I've been telling myself could happen to anyone... but I've finally been truthful with myself - It's my MASSIVE WEIGHT! These poor joints are suffering badly). Whatever it was I'm so thankful. I've had a shift in my thinking. It's just time to do something. It's time for me to get a life. A real life. One that I can actually enjoy.

Before finding out about the 12WBT, I was considering weight loss surgery. WOW! To think I had gotten to a place where I was so desperate to lose weight that I thought a life threatening operation was the only way (and before anyone says anything... I am not against weight loss surgery. I had seriously considered this option after having friends go through with it. I am against this option for me because I'm the one holding me in this spot. I CAN lose the weight if I just stop mking excuses and start acting).

After reading Crunchtime and seeing pictures and posts on the 12wbt facebook page, I'm inspired. If other people can do it, why can't I? What's stopping me from being the best person I can be. A happy healthy mother and wife, who enjoys life. Someone who can be happy within themselves, smile at the reflection smiling back at them. It's MY time!

I've already started changing. Since Monday, I've forgone all take away foods even when they are right in front of me. I've been drinking 2 litres of water a day. I've not been snacking on crap. I've been eating breakfast! I've been thinking about what food choices to make. What's going to be better for me in the long run? I''ve also had Pt sessions, a strength training class, and I even did my OWN session at home this morning with plans to do another half an hour later today.This is HUGE for me. I've never thought like this before. To have this much happen already is amazing!! If this is me after reading a few inspiring stories, seeing amazing photos and being signed up for only 3 days... bring on the next 15-16 weeks! Heck... Bring on the REST OF MY LIFE because for me, this is not a 12 week challenge. This is a challenge that I WILL take part in for LIFE.


BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Fat

Yep, it's true. I'm morbidly obese. There are so many stories about how I got here but none of them are a good enough excuse.
I feel flat. I'm always tired. I can never find well fitting, trendy clothes - I have to resort to buying from plus size stores overseas to get anything half decent.
I'm gross really. I hate the way I look. I avoid mirrors and anything reflective at all costs. I don't like to look at myself and I think I have a distorted view of myself at times telling myself I'm not as big as I thought I was. Truth is I'm probably bigger.

So, why now? Why all of a sudden?

The last week or so I've been seriously considering weight loss surgery - gastric banding. I have a wonderful friend who has gone down this path and the weight is just falling off her. I think I see it as being easier than having to alter my way of living (although I'm sure it's not!!!).
Anyway, hubby is not keen at all. He thinks it's far too drastic. I've spoken to friends who also think it's not the option for me.
After talking to some other ladies who are on the weightloss journey, I've decided to give the 12 Week Body Transformation by Michelle Bridges a go. It starts August 15th and I'm looking forward to it.
I've tried shake diets, weight watchers etc before. I did a program through fernwood many years ago and lost 10kgs, but just couldn't sustain it.
I'm now at a different point in my life. I have a husband and 2 wonderful young children. My body is starting to crack the shits with me, with my knee failing recently and requiring an appointment with a surgeon. I'm already dreaeding the YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT speech that is inevitable.

I don't know how much I weight. At a GP in April he had me at 152kgs :( I NEVER thought I'd get this big.

I'm also SHIT SCARED!!! What happens when I fail (yep, see what I said there- WHEN. Not a great mindset to start off with is it?)?
I've failed every other weightloss attempt before, so why will this time be any different? Well for one, I want my knee to improve. I want to be able to continue playing netball and I'd LOVE to be fit enough to go up a grade where my skills should have me, but because I can't run a length of a netball court without dying... that's just not an option.

So here we are. 1 fat, unhappy, massively fussy eater who IS going to get off her arse and lose some weight but more importantly - GET HEALTHY! This is it! I have to do it and I have to do it NOW!