It's only the beginning!

If someone had told me 4 months ago that I was capable of losing nearly 30kgs, running at least 20mins non stop, jogging and walking 12kms and eating 1200 cals a day and not going hungry.... I would have smiled, scoffed quietly, and gone about my merry way eating myself to death. AS IF! The only way for someone of my size to lose weight is surgery. It's not my fault I got here. There must be some health issue that causes me to get fat. There must be some mental issue that causes me to only be able to eat shit. It's an addiction..... BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I can think now is... what a CROCK!

If I wake up at 5am I don't try to get back to sleep.... why waste a good opportunity to burn cals??
If I get hungry, I go for the water.... why waste a good opportunity to flush the toxins from my system??
If I get bored.... I get up and I JFDI.

If I don't do it today... what am I going to lose tomorrow? What will I GAIN if I continue to sit on my ass or not exercise?

In 4 months, my entire life has changed. In 4 months I've gone from sloth to athlete(haha I use that term loosely of course). I've gone from sugar addict, to water addict. My mindset has changed. I'm an exercise junkie. I CARE about the number on the scales. I CARE about how well I'm feeling, how well I sleep. I CARE ABOUT ME and it's the first time in a very long time that I've given a stuff about myself. It's time to get a little selfish.

Today marks the 'official' end of the 12 week body transformation, but it marks the start of my toughest slog into my weightloss journey yet..... Being honest with myself, staying accountable and CONTINUING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT!

It's from here that I no longer have the program to answer to. I don't have to input a weight every week. I don't have a dietry plan to follow. I don't have an exercise plan to follow. I'm on my own (with TONNES of support should I add, which makes me VERY lucky).

It's up to ME now. I HAVE to continue on the path I'm on. If I fall off.... I get the hell back up and keep going. None of those piss poor excuses I used to have. There is noone else to blame but ME. I am responsible for my health, for my happiness and that in turn of my family. I HAVE to look after myself, to look after others.... it's really that simple.

To be honest, it scares me. That this is an 'ending'. Really I have to look at that as it is... a word that at this point in time means sweet bugger all. There is no END. There will never be a time in my life ever again where I don't check on my weight, where I don't make sure I'm eating well, where I don't get out and bust my arse. That will never ever happen again. I have come WAY too far to throw it in now!

So, I've lost 26.5kgs since August 15th. I've lost approx 90cms off my body measurements (it's quite possibly more... but the measuring didn't begin when my weightloss journey did). I've taken nearly 4 minutes off my 1km time trial. I can do more than double the pushups I was doing. I have improved in every area of the fitness testing.

I feel AMAZING! I sleep so soundly now. I haven't slept well in over 5 years. I am happy, TRULY happy. I am proud of myself. I do kick my own arse and tell myself off when I know I've done wrong, and I'm proud of myself for being able to do that.
I've made some amazing friends. I've come across some insanely inspiring stories, and been told that I am inspiring others. I've learnt so much about myself in the last 15 -16 weeks it's impossible to verbalise, but I am forever grateful for it. I've discovered a love for running and exercising in general (and after yesterday's first ever spin class... a bit of a like for bike riding but I'll give that a few more goes before using the big L word).

I cannot wait to continue on this journey. I've done this! I KNOW I can do this. My goal is to lose another 33.5kgs by the very last day in April.... 3.5kgs of those by Christmas.

This journey doesn't stop here. It's only the VERY beginning.  BRING ON ROUND 1 2012!!!