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Sunday, December 11, 2011

My latest comparison Pic

Just for fun (and because I actually half like this new pic of me)

Last night (Dec 10th 2011) - July 2011.
 27.5kgs difference.

Life after the official 'end'....

Yep, just because the round of 12wbt ends, doesn't mean my journey does. I've gone a little slack. Things are creeping in, BUT I am keeping on top of it all. I'm still training hard. My focus is still on losing weight, it HAS to be. I still have a fair way to go.

Had a 30th last night. Wasn't going to drink, but seeming as it coincided with the 12wbt finale party, I though why the heck not?! I've got something to celebrate too and just because I'm not at the party physically doesn't mean I have to miss out (or so I told myself). haha. 
I saw some people I haven't seen since this journey began and I was blown away with the lovely comments and compliments that people dished out to me. I actually felt like I looked half ok for the first time in a long time and I was more comfortable in such a public gathering than I can remember. Caught up with old friends, made a few new ones and had a great time. Didn't overdo it, but did feel it this morning although a couple of hours catch up sleep, lots of water and a rest have all helped a heap.

Our PT/Bootcamp session yesterday morning was INSANE! I am feeling that today more than anything. We had to push these huge truck tyres around the lake whilst running - about 1.5kms. We then did a heap of tyre flipping and more running. I really enjoyed it and know it worked me really hard. Tennis on top of that and I was stuffed. Very surprised we lasted until 2.30am this morning! haha. 

I've had a nice restful week and although I haven't really trained hard, my body is still shedding the weight. As of yesterday morning I'm officially 2.5kgs away from my 30kg Christmas goal, with plans to smash most of that out this week. I can certainly do this, I just have to kick my own arse into gear and eat well, train hard and JFDI!


Friday, December 9, 2011

Goodbye.... and Hello!

Yesterday I said goodbye to my depression for good. Yesterday I had my final counselling session in regards to my mental health. It was more just touching base with my counsellor, who is leaving her current practice. I wanted a bit of closure.
I knew in myself that I was in a good place. I knew that she'd be happy with where I was in my life at the moment, 'mentally healthy'. I felt I needed an ending to the depression story. For someone to in a round about way say.... 'Yep, there's nothing wrong with you anymore. You don't need medication, you don't need counselling. You can lead a normal life and not have to think about it anymore. You're cured!'
Which is not what was actually said.... but that's what I think to myself.. It was an ending that I needed to close that chapter of my life and hopefully never to return to.

The counselling sessions along with moving house all came together at the perfect time and I was finally free enough and confident enough to tackle my weight issues. A lot of my depression was caused by my weight issues, my severe lack of self esteem and because I just didn't give a crap about myself. I was lucky... at THAT size I had a loving husband, adorable kids, an awesome immediate family network.... I nearly had it all. I just thought myself blessed to have those and that even considering looking after myself and wishing for health would be rocking the boat too much. How wrong I was.

My counsellor said seeing me in the waiting room was a bit of a shock. She said she noticed the weight loss straight away. My session yesterday was a very short one.... it was me explaining what I've been doing over the last 4 ish months, Me voicing my slight concerns that I wasn't sure that I could continue it (I know that I can... and I WILL!), and then her reminding me how far I've come, how amazing I look and how impressed she was with everything I've done. That I've worked so hard on everything, I've let the little things that were holding me back go, and that I have such a bright future ahead of me now. Sure, it was a nice bit of an ego boost hearing her say those things and I did feel a little weird, but I HAVE worked hard. I've worked hard on my mental and my physical health. I've worked hard on loving myself again. I've worked hard to lose the weight and I'm determined to continue to work hard losing more and becoming the person I know I can be.

So, even though the 12wbt sort of 'ended'.... it really hasn't. Now is the test. Now is the time that I find out what I'm REALLY made of. Can I hack it? OF COURSE I CAN!! I've done this. Noone else has forced me to eat the way I do. Noone else has forced me to train the way I do. Noone has forced me to change my way of thinking. I've had the tools to allow me to do all of these things, but I've done it. Me. Myself. I DID IT and I will continue to.

This is life now. Watching what I eat, training my arse off. Keeping tabs on my numbers on those pesky scales. This is me. This is life and by gosh am I going to start living it.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

It's only the beginning!

If someone had told me 4 months ago that I was capable of losing nearly 30kgs, running at least 20mins non stop, jogging and walking 12kms and eating 1200 cals a day and not going hungry.... I would have smiled, scoffed quietly, and gone about my merry way eating myself to death. AS IF! The only way for someone of my size to lose weight is surgery. It's not my fault I got here. There must be some health issue that causes me to get fat. There must be some mental issue that causes me to only be able to eat shit. It's an addiction..... BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I can think now is... what a CROCK!

If I wake up at 5am I don't try to get back to sleep.... why waste a good opportunity to burn cals??
If I get hungry, I go for the water.... why waste a good opportunity to flush the toxins from my system??
If I get bored.... I get up and I JFDI.

If I don't do it today... what am I going to lose tomorrow? What will I GAIN if I continue to sit on my ass or not exercise?

In 4 months, my entire life has changed. In 4 months I've gone from sloth to athlete(haha I use that term loosely of course). I've gone from sugar addict, to water addict. My mindset has changed. I'm an exercise junkie. I CARE about the number on the scales. I CARE about how well I'm feeling, how well I sleep. I CARE ABOUT ME and it's the first time in a very long time that I've given a stuff about myself. It's time to get a little selfish.

Today marks the 'official' end of the 12 week body transformation, but it marks the start of my toughest slog into my weightloss journey yet..... Being honest with myself, staying accountable and CONTINUING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT!

It's from here that I no longer have the program to answer to. I don't have to input a weight every week. I don't have a dietry plan to follow. I don't have an exercise plan to follow. I'm on my own (with TONNES of support should I add, which makes me VERY lucky).

It's up to ME now. I HAVE to continue on the path I'm on. If I fall off.... I get the hell back up and keep going. None of those piss poor excuses I used to have. There is noone else to blame but ME. I am responsible for my health, for my happiness and that in turn of my family. I HAVE to look after myself, to look after others.... it's really that simple.

To be honest, it scares me. That this is an 'ending'. Really I have to look at that as it is... a word that at this point in time means sweet bugger all. There is no END. There will never be a time in my life ever again where I don't check on my weight, where I don't make sure I'm eating well, where I don't get out and bust my arse. That will never ever happen again. I have come WAY too far to throw it in now!

So, I've lost 26.5kgs since August 15th. I've lost approx 90cms off my body measurements (it's quite possibly more... but the measuring didn't begin when my weightloss journey did). I've taken nearly 4 minutes off my 1km time trial. I can do more than double the pushups I was doing. I have improved in every area of the fitness testing.

I feel AMAZING! I sleep so soundly now. I haven't slept well in over 5 years. I am happy, TRULY happy. I am proud of myself. I do kick my own arse and tell myself off when I know I've done wrong, and I'm proud of myself for being able to do that.
I've made some amazing friends. I've come across some insanely inspiring stories, and been told that I am inspiring others. I've learnt so much about myself in the last 15 -16 weeks it's impossible to verbalise, but I am forever grateful for it. I've discovered a love for running and exercising in general (and after yesterday's first ever spin class... a bit of a like for bike riding but I'll give that a few more goes before using the big L word).

I cannot wait to continue on this journey. I've done this! I KNOW I can do this. My goal is to lose another 33.5kgs by the very last day in April.... 3.5kgs of those by Christmas.

This journey doesn't stop here. It's only the VERY beginning.  BRING ON ROUND 1 2012!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

It's almost over!!

I cannot believe how quick these last 15 odd weeks have flown! It's amazing to think that I am still here... this far into the 12wbt, still going, STILL training and eating well... STILL losing weight!

I started this round having no huge expectations. Certainly not expecting to lose much in the way of weight. I had no idea if I'd stick to the meals, or if I'd even like anything. Healthy food to me has always been tasteless crap... as if I was going to like it.
My Mum (god love her) grabbed the crunchtime Cookbook and Crunchtime Book for me in the first week of preseason and I immediately read the entire crunchtime book that very first night. I think the very first page had me nodding in agreeance... it was like someone had been interviewing me about what goes through my head and what struggles I face. I felt understood, and I felt stupid for feeling understood - it was a Book for goodness sakes!!
Having not weighed myself in quite some time (over 152kgs at a GP appointment in May), and having fooled myself into thinking that the anti depressants I'd been on had caused me to LOSE weight (I was so far in denial it wasn't funny), I was absolutely SHOCKED when I came across the numbers on the screen. I remember bawling my eyes out in my bedroom, away from my family. It was the most gut wreching feeling I've ever had. I'd been fooling myself for years that even though I was fat... I was still happy. PPFFTT!!! What an absolute crock of shit! I was dying!! I was very bloody lucky I hadn't succumbed to diabetes, or some other fat person disease. I was constantly tired and drained, I just felt like crap on toast all of the time. I was angry with my whole family.  I thought I was doing enough by playing netball every Saturday and doing 1 50minute strength training class.... gosh the cals I burnt in those wouldn't have even made a dent in one meals worth of cals. I was certainly kidding myself.

My whole life came to a giant halt after I was diagnosed with depression early this year. I knew a fair amount of it was situational - we had been living on an isolated property for 3 years. No neighbours. No garbage collection. I had to do about a 5-6km round trip driving to get the mail! It was a horrible house that I absolutely hated. Everything about my life out there I hated. The change finally came when we moved.
I now lived 20minutes closer to town (we're still out of town, but this house and this area are awesome and I love it here). I'd been having counselling sessions and my counsellor was great. After the initial session, we concentrated more on my weight. How did I get here? Why wouldn't I help myself? What was holding me back? It was just what I needed to get this whole idea planted in my brain.

I starting researching things online. As I've mentioned before, I've tried the shake diets, I've tried weight watchers I've tried numerous things and I could never stick it out more than a week. I was not in the right frame of mind... I wasn't ready to tackle it. I came across several weight loss surgery websites and decided that I must just be one of those people who cannot control their weight without surgery. I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't prepared to eat crappy diet food. I was going the wrong way about it all.
I spoke to hubby who immediately quashed any ideas of surgery. I cried again, believing that he was taking away all of my options. I know he just didn't believe in surgery and he couldn't risk anything happening to me.... he loves me far too much. I was left in limbo land for a few weeks, trying to decide what my purpose was in life and how I was going to spend my last 10-20 years..... WHO THE HELL THINKS LIKE THAT WHEN THEY ARE 27???!!!!! I stopped my meds (mainly on my own) in June when we moved house. The move made me feel immediately clearer and I knew that NOW was finally the time to tackle it.

I'm a member of several parenting forums (yep... a giant big internet geek!! haha), and I'd mentioned on one that I was desperate to lose weight. I had no idea where to start, where to turn. Then, a fantastic lady who is such an inspiration had mentioned how she was about to begin the 12wbt and that maybe I should join. My interest was piqued and I started researching, reading the facebook page and going through all of the amazing photos and stories on there. I was HOOKED! People MY SIZE had managed to lose a tonne of weight. I know now that this program and journey was not just about losing weight, but about gaining life, but back then it was all about the weight.

I bit the bullet and signed up the week before preseason was to begin. I ummed and ahhed a few times, but I figured it was only $200... I spend that on shit normally I may aswell attempt to try and fix my life. It was not going to be wasted money even when I did fail.

I am a member of the most amazing FB group and together we all started sharing our goals for the 12 weeks. My goal for preseason and the 12 weeks was 12kgs lost total. I thought that was going to be a stretch, but I wanted to challenge myself.

Well, bugger me if the first week I didn't love the food! It was fantastic! I was so proud of myself for eating healthily and saying no to the shit. I finally had an inner voice that was on my side.

By the first day of round 1, I'd managed to lose 12.3kgs!!! OMG!! I could not believe it! I'd gone from 163kgs down to 150.7kgs. It DID work. I started believing that I could actually do this!
As the round went on I went from strength to strength. I had my ups and downs, but I've always gotten right back into it. My determination to finally succeed at something pushed me to better myself daily. I'd gone from week 1's 1km time trial having to walk the entire 1km in over 12 minutes. By week 8 I'd run all but about 50 metres in just over 9 minutes. I can now run 8 minutes non stop (and I reckon I can push myself further) and this Saturrday morning when I do my time trial I WILL run the WHOLE 1 KM!  I am determined to do it in under 9 minutes.

I train hard at least 6 days a week. I ENJOY it! I have so much fun... my 2 different PT's are amazing and I owe them so so much. I move better. I feel better.

I've lost approx 3 dress sizes, going from a 26 down to a 20. I actually fit into nicer clothes... I'm no longer stuffing myself in size 24's because "there is NO WAY I'm a size 26!!!).

I kick my own ass! I go for my runs and tell myself out loud "you can do it!! Just a little bit further!".

People are constantly commenting on my weight loss. I've gone from the 160's, through the 150's and the 140's and now I'm nearly halfway through the 130's. That's 4 DECADES of weight loss!

I've met amazing people. I've been inspired and apparently, I inspire.

I finally can see myself down near goal. I can see myself under 100kgs. I can see myself in a size 14 again. I can see myself running 10 kms NON STOP!

I can see the happiness in my husbands face. The cheers from my beautiful kids. The proudness in my parents eyes... I know they've wanted this for me for so long. My sisters are so unbelievably supportive and I love them more than they know for what they've done for me. The support from other family and friends. My PT's for just being AMAZING, especially Rae who has been here where I have. She's not afraid to tell me like it is, she knows my limits, she knows how to push me and she's just such an awesome friend and such an inspirational person herself. My forum buddies who have been through this with me from day one. Through my ups and downs, listening to my bragging all the time (sorry ladies!!!! ). They've spurred me on and encouraged me.

This morning I stood on the scales happy in the knowledge that even if they don't come up with a number that makes me happy, I have achieved so much. I can run!! I bust my ass training. I work hard. I eat well and I am HAPPY! It doesn't matter really how long it takes me to get this weight off, as long as it comes off. To think about where I was just over  months ago is so scary. To think about where I am today and what I've done to get here... I finally LOVE myself for it. I've not loved myself for a very long time and I'm going to embrace and nurture this feeling.... this is certainly not the end just yet.

So I made it. Week 12! 26.1kgs down (so far). AMAZING! I've done some pretty awesome things this round and gosh I hope that just one person reads my blog and gains some sort of inspiration for themselves from it. I want other people who are where I was, to know that it CAN BE DONE! IT CAN! Don't doubt yourself! I was one of those doubters for so many years.....
My reward for lasting the 12 weeks is not a block of chocolate. Not a meal out at my favourite restaurant. Nothing food based at all. My reward for my hard work is MORE HARD WORK! I'm going to do my 1km time trial Saturday morning before my PT session, followed by my very first spin class, followed by my very first pump class. I want to do something that's out of my comfort zone. I know it will be a hard slog, and I'm prepared for the hurt. I cannot WAIT to tackle it though. Heck, I've lost 26.1kgs... I CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 28, 2011

It's not everyday a famous person talks about you to an audience of nearly 40,000 people!!
Today I was shocked when a friend messaged me and told me that I had been mentioned in a facebook post on the 12wbt. Gosh... I get so excited for my friends when they get a mention, but little ol' me?

It was about my 12km effort. I knew it was a slog... heck my legs turned to jelly not to long after I got home, but to have someone like Mish and her 12wbt team notice my effort, even though it's probably not alot for some of those really fit and healthy people out there, was a huge shock and an even greater Honour.

I have been so inspired by so so many people during this, my first round of the 12wbt. I have a couple of groups on FB that I talk to often.... My 'M' girls (they know who they are!) who I talk to daily, often several times a day. They were the first people other than those running the 12wbt who knew my weight, who saw my before pics, who heard all about my ups and downs. They've been such a wonderful group to be a part of and I'm forever grateful to each and every one of them. They inspire me to be who I am today.

The people on the forums are just as amazing. It's so nice to go onto a forum that's so full of love and positive energy. There is always someone around with some wonderful advice, or some encouraging words.

And then to have the big wigs - the trainers, the dieticians, the people behind the 12wbt notice my posts... it's such a warm fuzzy feeling.  I'm so grateful to so many people, it's hard to know where to start!

Mish, you've nailed it. You've created a fool proof program. A program that can be followed for life. A program that allows people to be themselves, but also find themselves. To make themselves into better versions. You've created a warm space. A super friendly forum with such a wealth of knowledge. For the last 15 odd weeks I've had excitement running through my veins. I've been so excited from the outset and that feeling has not dulled down. I'm excited to see that yes, the numbers DO move. I CAN do anything I put my mind to. It's really not as hard as everyone makes it out to be, this weight loss caper.

Losing weight can be done. You have to find that belief in yourself. Once you've found that golden ticket, the doors to everything you've ever dreamed of can finally be opened.

Get out there and have a crack! Seriously... if someone like me can do something like this, anyone can. I truly believe in this program. I've got the numbers, the experiences and the life to prove it!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

WOW WOW

25 kgs lost !!!!!!!!!!!
I was so excited to step on the scales this morning and see 138.0kgs staring right back at me. It's SOOOOOO nice to be down in the 130's.
Last night, I conquered my first 12km walk/run. I'd previously done 8kms and wanted to better myself and I also have a goal of smashing out 30kms this week.
I was stuffed when I got back. I did week 5 day 1 of the couch 25k program in the middle and I'm astounded that at this size I can actually run for 5 mins straight and not die.
Last night was also my first continual 1000cal burn. Normally, I will do my SSS's over several sessions in the day. I did it all in one without stopping, burning 1125cals. I also did the 12kms in 1hr49mins and 30 seconds which for someone of my size I think is pretty good... I certainly didn't break any records by my aim was under 2 hours and I got it.

This program has done so much for me. I don't want to waffle on about it too much for fear of boring people, but I'm just astonished with what I've accomplished in such a short time... and it really hasn't been THAT hard! I've had family living with us for nearly the entire program and I've still managed to kick goals. I possibly could have done a little better, but I try not to think about it like that.

I cannot WAIT to get back into it next round. I'm hoping that in the 'off season' I can get another 10kgs off. I should be able to. I CAN! I want to have lost 50kgs total by the end of April next year - that's a bit over 5 months for 25kgs... only 5kgs a month. I can do that! That's not a big ask at all. The Christmas period will test me, but I am determined not to fall off the wagon totally. I'm determined to get back into it. This is my new life now. This is how I will train and eat forever from now on. I don't remember how I was before I started the 12wbt which is awesome in itself.

I cannot believe there is only 1 weigh in left. This has flown. I always thought that within the first few weeks I would fall off and quit. I got to 4 weeks and although I did have a pretty hefty gain, I was still going. I got to 8 weeks and was amazed. I'm now sitting in week 11 and I've got 7 days until my final weigh in. I'm going to make it count and go out with a bang... although it's not the end. There is no end. This is for life.



ETA: I also want to do a massive shout out to my good friend R, who today weighed in at under 100kgs. She's not doing the 12wbt, but she has managed to lose more than 50kgs this year alone. I'm so excited for you R!! You rock!!

Monday, November 21, 2011

So I think I'm going to have to wok on my dependancy on my scales - I am weighing in nearly everyday (and sometimes MORE!!).
I try to tell myself that it could be worse.... I could be addicted to soft drinks or fast food. The scales addiction can't be THAT bad. I'm sure it does have a bit of an effect mentally though.

Last night I was so close to being sick. I'd been fine all day, eaten and drank plenty (although I could have had a little more water....) I went for my 8km run/walk in which I managed 30 minutes of running all up (in intervals, so not all at once). I felt fine. About an hour after getting home I suddenly felt rather ill, weak and dizzy. I sat and relaxed and it was ok. I got back up to do something and felt horrible again so sent myself to bed. I've felt fine ever since and had my yummy poached eggs this morning. It's like it never happened.

I did weigh myself this morning and I was 500 grams away from my 25kg goal, although I'm sure some of that is from not eating enough yesterday as I didn't have dinner. I REALLY hope I can keep it off.... I'd love to lose 26+kgs over the 12wbt and preseason.... that would make my bloody year!!

Regardless, I've worked damned hard since August 15th, and even with my little stuff ups and my one weight gain one week (which was rather large), I've done an awesome job to get this far. I class this as one of my few success stories. I'm not normally someone who continues plans like this so that alone is a big achievement.

9 days left of the 12wbt.... and I'm going to JFDI!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Only 6.6kgs until my Christmas goal now.... I just cracked the 139kg  mark( I've just weighed in at 139.6)!! This is the most excited I've been yet because I haven't been in this weight bracket for around 5 years :)

1.6kgs until my 12wbt 25kg goal.... can I do it? I must make sure I train hard and eat clean this weekend and every day until Wednesday. I CAN I CAN I CAN!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I had a bit of a wardrobe cleanout today. I had to do a spring clean of my room so decided to try on a few things I was wearing 13 weeks ago.... Well, there's a pair of denim shorts that haven't stayed up for at least 8 weeks that I've had to put away, a pair of my fave jeans, a few tops and a jacket. All WAY too big!! OMG YES!! Clothes that are actually TOO BIG for ME!! I never thought I'd see the day!

So I've kept them. I've put them aside to use as my "wholly crap look how much weight I've lost... look at the mammoth clothes I used to wear" outfits. I'm envisaging myself standing in one leg of my jeans in 12 months time.... fingers crossed that's how it goes.

It's weird. I never thought I was as big as I was.  I never thought in my wildest dreams that I'd lose weight either.... and here I am, whether I can see it myself or not. The numbers don't lie (but my eyes and brain certainly do!).

So goodbye sizes 24-26 (yes, I'm ashamed to admit I was in a size 26 at my biggest just 13 odd weeks ago). Hello size 20 jeans that I got on today :) I can still fit into some of my old stuff, so I'll be keeping it until it falls off me. I can't afford to buy clothes every few weeks! haha.
 I used to buy size 24 clothing and squeeze myself into them... never wanting to admit that I was really a 26. Now I'm fitting in size 20 jeans of all things. I've also got a couple of size 20 tops that fit and although not everything in that bracket can go on just yet, I know it's only a matter of weeks away really. I have a size 20 top that my Mum bought me a few weeks ago that I'm hoping fits me for Christmas day.... I'm planning on a loss of 7.4kgs by then so with any luck it will fit.

Next stop.... size 18 clothing that I haven't been in for 9 years!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Here's where it gets scary..... the big reveal!

Ok so I've finally found a pic from 'before'. It's from July 2011 about 6 or so weeks before I started the 12wbt and about 3-4 weeks before I even found out about it.
The pic to the right is of me on Monday night (Nov 15th 2011) at a concert with my spunky SIL.

I have underwear full body shots, but only from the first week of round 1, none from day 1 of preseason. Preseason I dropped half of the weight I have now lost. I'm a little disappointed that I don't have any comparison pics from then, but I'll be making sure I take more photos from now on.

Now, I know that there are people on here that actually know me IRL who probably don't realise it's ME. Surprise! haha Some people will have seen this before as I've shown this to some of my closest weight loss buddies. Others won't have the foggiest, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway.

So... here goes.

July 2011 / Nov 2011
22.6kgs difference

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My disappearing act

The comments are coming more and more often now.
On Sunday I was 400 grams from finally breaking into the 130kg bracket (139.9kgs) and I got a tad excited. After those pics didn't really fill me with a great deal of confidence, at least the scales were being nice.

I'm always being asked about how I'm going about losing the weight. People are genuinely interested in what I'm doing. I get comments about my weight loss nearly every day now which is great... I LOVE hearing those!
I got told on the kinder pick up run that I'm "disappearing right before my eyes", and then told what a wonderful job I'm doing and to keep it up. I draw on those sources of encouragement on my tough days and they help get me through.

Last night I did a last minute concert. Dinner was not great but wouldn't have been much over my calorie allowance Brekky this morning also not great, but I'm making sure I keep the water up and I made sure I had a good lunch. Dinner tonight will also be tailored to fit into my 1200cal allowance.

I enjoyed myself, didn't sleep very well though. I can see now that if I do have a bad night's sleep, that I will have to work very hard to keep on top of my eating habits. It's so very easy to say "Bugger it! I'm too tired to get anything decent" and head straight for the crap. Not me. Not today.

More water please!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

So today I decided to take some comparison pics. I didn't take any pics on day one of preseason and I'm kicking myself for not doing that. I will never see the full 21.4kgs loss in pics which is a shame.... so anyone reading this who is starting next season ... TAKE DAY 1 OF PRESEASON PICS!!!

I'm umming and ahhing about actually putting them on here. I like that they'll be a daily reminder but I'm not so sure that I should be showing people a 150.7kg pic versus a 141.6kg pic.... you may just lose 5kgs and your lunch after veiwing them.

Maybe I'll wait. Maybe I'll give it another 10kgs before I start showing pics. It's hard enough for me to see the changes.

I'm currently in a world of pain due to yesterday morning's PT session. I will have buns of steel by Christmas at this rate!! My Sat trainer kicks our arses!
Looking forward to some more training this week. I was meant to do a 10km walk/run tonight but I'll have to shorten it due to diminishing daylight hours and being absolutely stuffed after my huge day yesterday and busting my chops at a bunnings bbq today. Sore legs.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Weigh in Wednesday and TTOTM

So it's weigh in Wednesday. Normally I'm really keen to see how I've gone, hoping for certain numbers since my peek the night before.... I'm so hopeless that I weigh myself most days. Nuffy.

Anyway, my scales up and died on me on the weekend. I got some new batteries but they were the wrong size and I can't just go to the local gum tree and exchange them...
So I haven't been able to peek at all. I've trained. I could have trained harder, but I still got off my ass. I did have an interesting Saturday for hubby's birthday where we had pizza for dinner and I think we even had something crappy for lunch. Was naughty, but I can do that every so often.

Anyway, I knew TTOTM was due and I have been praying that it arrived soon... It arrived yesterday and today I feel so bloated and yuck.
Yesterday I craved all the naughty stuff. I had some chocolate, but then felt so stupid. I threw the rest of the block in the bin. SCORE!
I had a tough time with the kids and was having a horrible day, so I ended up devouring 2 bowls of salt and vinegar chips. YUCK! I was so angry with myself that they too met their destiny in the garbage disposal.

Throwing my 'used to be' fave foods in the bin.... I've come a long way in the last 12 weeks.

Last night before my double PT session, I went for a run. I'd been hanging out ALL day to go and finally got the opportunity.
I ended up burning a combined total of 832 cals with my run and PT sessions which was pretty good for me.

Anyway to my weigh in. With all this bloating, water retention and naughty-ness I expected a bad morning.  I was pleasantly surprised when I got on the scales this morning (after doing a switcheroo with another scales set of batteries) and saw a 400 gram loss. I will take that!!

So 21.4kgs down since August 15th. 8.6kgs to go to my 30kg Christmas goal.

Today is my rest day. I don't have anymore shitty food in the house so if I get that sweet craving again I will have to put up with yoghurt and hot choc. Not that I really have to 'put up' with those foods anymore.... YUM!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Last night after my post, I went for a run.
Well, a run might be exaggerating a little.... I did my week 2 day 1 couch to 5k along with a LOT of brisk walking. I managed to get 8kms done last night and burn 716cals which I was pretty happy with.

I'm now going to have my own time trial for my 8km track.

This week we've been challenged to burn 1000 cals 3 times.
Today would normally have smashed that but due to a meeting, I'll be lucky to get my 500.
Tomorrow I'm planning on my 8km walk/shuffle again and then a double PT tomorrow night. That should well and truly burn the 1000. Weds is rest day and with Thursday and Friday being 8km days (700+cals), it's left to Saturday where I'll have my PT followed by tennis (should be at least 1300 cals) and sunday I'm pulling out a 10km walk/jog/shuffle track to see just how I go.

I HAVE to incorporate running now. Walking just isn't cutting it. I'm only just inside the 140's and I really thought walking would be good until I got down near 100! I noticed last night that my usual brisk walk only gets my HR up to 140 instead of the 160's I was getting 8 weeks ago. Insane!

Bring it though! I think I'm going to enjoy my running, and my ever shrinking husband is keen for more aswell.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

You can tell I'm slipping a little.... look how far it is between posts!!

Things are going well.... I wouldn't say amazing because there are slip ups pretty much weekly now, but everytime I get back on track and get right back into it again.

I finally got over that 20kgs lost goal last week. I've now lost 21kgs on the dot since day one of preseason (August 15th).  I tried on my super tight pair of jeans the other day.... they do now only just fit. I have to pull them up constantly and they are looking a tad silly.

I guess the hardest part of the whole 21kgs lost is that it doesn't actually LOOK like I've lost heaps. Well, certainly not to me and the only real comments I get now are "I can see it in your face". If I was 50kgs lighter and had lost 21kgs, I'm sure it would be much more noticable.

I do get quite a few comments from family now though which is good because they are the ones who know me best.

It's tough. I keep seeing that 163kg chick staring back at me in the mirror. I know that I'm actually 21kgs lighter on the scales, but in my eyes there really is no difference.
The stupid mind games are taking a grip at times and it's so hard to shake them off.

My eating is certainly not perfect. I am indulging... but it's a different indulgence to that of 12 weeks ago. I cannot stomach too much food these days though and I do like that. I also like the fact that after I have touched that shitty junk food, my stomach cries out in pain and I feel horribly sick. I'm glad that I get that feeling. I tell myself how much I used to enjoy pizza, maccas etc, but now I just can't stomach a great deal of it. It's a good thing... I wish I couldn't stand it at all though so I just wouldn't ever touch it!

I've been slack with the mindset videos. I have the whole "I don't have time" excuse thing happening and I'm so sure that I'm missing out on so much by not watching them. My homework for the week is to watch every single mindset video from week 1 to week 9 and get my head back in the game 100%. We still have family living here for another few weeks and whilst I've been doing well, I'll be glad to be able to rid the house of all of the temptations.

I did my fitness test mainly today and I've improved almost everywhere. My Ab stage is the same and will be for quite some time, but I smashed over 2 minutes off my week 4 1km time trial and I pretty much ran the entire way. My Saturday morning trainer thinks I'll be running 3kms non stop by Christmas.... I told her she's dreaming but I think she's determined and my Saturday mornings will consist of lake laps from now until then, guaranteed!

So things are going well, but certainly could go better. I know I need this program for quite some time yet and I am determined to give it my all next round.... I cannot say I've given it my all this round and although there have been some great results, I know I should have done much better.

You live, you learn. Now I'm off for a run.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Proud.

So today was my second ever SSS. I burnt a nice 1300 cals and I'm rather pleased with myself. Also dodged all the yummy afternoon tea at our tennis club. Good girl.

This post is not going to be about me though. This is a post about my husband. My super supportive husband who is more than happy to allow me to go out most nights and train. Is happy to eat what I am eating. Tells me often how well I'm doing and how I've lost so much weight. How good I'm looking.

My supportive husband who now watches what he eats. Who now comes to a PT session every Saturday morning even though we have to wake at 6am to leave by 6.30am to arrive by 7.30am. Who doesn't bring home shitty food because "he's not on a diet so he can have what he wants".

My awesome hubby who has now as a consequence of eating well more often and exercising more than he used to, has lost more than 5kgs and has his fave pair of jeans fall off him.

I'm so proud of him. He's doing so well. He's supporting me and he's always thinking about what he can do to help. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband in my life.... and my super supportive families aswell. I don't know what I'd do without them and I credit my 20kgs gone so far to them... especially Mr Flab to Fab ;)

Friday, October 28, 2011

I get knocked down, but I get up again....

So I'm not doing so well.

Things are sneaking in. Training has dropped. Excuses are coming out again. I cannot let this happen!!!
I think because I've practically lost 20kgs since day 1 preseason, I've decided that It's such a huge milestone and wasn't as hard as I imagined, that I can relax a little. Silly, silly girl. That's the LAST thing I can do!

Relaxing has caused me to only lose 100grams this week. Relaxing has held me back another week from attaining exactly 20kgs. It's giving me another week less to hit my 30kg mark. I'm now not so sure that I'll make the 10kgs in the next 4&1/2-5 weeks to make it. It's noone's fault but my own.
I've had people living with us who've brought some of the naughty stuff in.... suck it up princess! You have to deal with that stuff everyday for the rest of your life now! It's not a good excuse.
I've had a sick daughter who has been waking alot during the night.... but again, that's what nana naps are for! Or just go to bed earlier!

Don't get me wrong, 80% of the time I'm good. I hold myself back, I train hard. I push myself. That 20% is holding me back from achieving what I KNOW I can do. I KNOW I am capable of it. I could lose 12kgs in the next 4 weeks if I put my mind to it... just like the first 4 weeks of preseason.

If I was still the same person I was 3 months ago, I would have thrown in the towel. "This is too hard." "Ican't do it" "I don't deserve it" "you idiot! You've stuffed everything up now, may as well just pack it in.".

I am not that person anymore. I've told myself off. I know what I've done is wrong. I know how to fix it and I know that I can do it. I already have!

3 months ago, my initial goal was 12kgs lost in 16 weeks. I really thought that would be a stretch. I had no idea that I could lose that in 4 weeks!
I know better now and I WILL get back into it. I will not fall backwards during the 'off-season'. I have come too far now to throw it all away. I've gotten a taste of the weight loss bug. I've started noticing the changes in my own body myself and I enjoy it too much.

The song Tubthumping has come to mind a lot recently......

'I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down.'

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Whoop Whoop Wednesday!

So I was hoping to come in and write up a massive post about how I'd smashed out 20kgs.......
I'm 700grams away from it. LOL.
I had a loss of 2.1kgs this week. I'm not at all disappointed with my loss... more than happy to have another 2+kg loss. The icing on the cake (so to speak) would have been to hit the 20kg loss today, but I get another week to smash that out - and I will.

My stats as of today are now - 19.3kgs lost. 163kgs - 143.7kgs since August 15th. 66 days.
My initial goal before the start of preseason was 2kgs lost in preseason and 10kgs lost in the 12 weeks on the full program.
I lost the 12 kgs in preseason.
I then adjusted my goal to be a full 30kgs lost in preseason and the 12 weeks. I'm currently 10.7kgs away from that goal. I have 6 weeks to complete it. I can def get that done if I lose 1.5-2kgs every single week. My plan is to smash that out. I WANT to achieve it. It is going to be my driving force for the next 6 weeks. I'm not going to let any minor slip ups hold me back.

It's my fricking time! I'm finally feeling so proud of myself for my loss. I still don't really feel as if I've lost this much.... but the scales don't lie.
Bring it on I say! I cannot wait for the next 6 weeks. To kick my own arse and get rid of 10.3kgs. I can do it!!!!!!!

BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

So I've had a busy week! School holidays over with so that means back into the kinder runs and playgroup. Tennis season started back up and we still have our house guests. It's a bit crazy around here at times, especially with a 4yo and 2&1/2 year old, but it can also be all kinds of fun.

Anyway, last weeks weigh in.... not ideal. I had a loss of 200grams. A loss is a loss though, right?! It's still a little disappointing. I know where I went wrong and why the scales weren't as kind as they could have been. I've only done better since then. I do have a naughty little 'weighing myself almost daily' obsession.... and sometimes more than once. Whoops. I need to hit that nail on the head soon. I think it's more because I can taste the 20kgs lost. I'm so so close now! I would LOVE to hit it tomorrow!

This week was also a week of training firsts - Saturday morning was the first time hubby did a PT session with me. He's feeling it too! haha
We had to wake at 545am. Get ourselves organised and have the kids stuff organised, wake and dress the kids and then leave at 6.30am to get them to my Parents place about 50 minutes away. A quick drop off before we drove another 20mins into town and to the PT session.
I LOVE my Sat morning PT sessions! Both of my sisters and my future BIL attend. They are all much fitter than I but having them there spurs me on to do better.
We also train at the only Lake in town. It's on a major road and there are plenty of on lookers.... but I will NOT let that stop me. I don't care what I look like when I train, because I know that the next week I will be even smaller ;)
So, the Saturday morning session was HARD! It was hard for my super fit size 8 sister, so it was hard! haha. Hubs had no idea what he was getting into. He completed everything and was absolutely buggered afterwards. He's been complaining about all his sore muscles on the occasion since. We all had sore backs after PT and then went and played 6 hours of tennis - yes we are MAD! It was awesome though as Saturday was my FIRST SSS! I ended up burning a touch under 1200 cals for the day and I wasn't even really trying when playing tennis.... I def could have pushed myself a bit harder. Happy to have hit that magical 1000 though!

Are we still feeling Saturday's PT session? You bet! I think I'll still be feeling it at my next Sat session, but it's not going to stop me from busting my chops!
Yesterday morning I did a 2hour walk and chat with a friend. We do this most Mondays while our oldest kids are at kinder... saves me driving the 20 mins home then another 20 back to pick DS up before driving another 20 home....
Was thrilled to have burnt 632cals just walking at a normal pace and chatting away. The time went so quickly too. It was great! LOVED that my friend who I haven't really seen for 3 weeks said she could really tell that I'd lost weight. Gosh I LOVE those comments!!

Last night MIL and I (along with about 4 other local ladies) did our weekly strength training session. I ended up burning another 370cals to take my daily burn to 1000 cals - AGAIN! that's 2 1000+ burns in 3 days! Very happy with that effort!

I'm really looking forward to my PT session tonight. This one is out here in the sticks with my fave PT of all time... someone who has been where I am now and has lost it all and gotten fit. Someone who understands my physical and emotional pain. Someone who is so easy to get along with..I have a blast with her even when she's kicking my butt! She's got her own PT session at the gym today and I have no doubt she'll bring some nice nasty routines back to hit me with tonight. Looking forward to it.

Oh, and I'm 1kg from 20kgs lost. I'm praying that I reach that 20kg mark tomorrow, but if I don't, I know I'll smash it out next week!

WOOP!

I LOVE 12wbt!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The ups, the downs, the highs, the lows.... my own personal theme park!

This whole journey is a real rollercoaster of emotions.
I've never really understood it all before. I just thought you lost weight until you were happy and then life went on. It really is a total overhaul of everything though. Change the way you eat, change the way you train, change the way you think and feel.

I'm riding that rollercoaster as best I can. I'm having the dips... some very small ones some much larger. I am finding that after the dips I'm hitting big highs though. I'm LOVING everything about the training. The food is really yummy and easy to prepare. The mindset - that is the hard part. Just when you think you've got it all sorted out of nowhere comes that little devil that sits on your shoulder, taunting you and urging you to do what you shouldn't. Sometimes that little devil catches you at a weak moment and you give in. Sometimes you are strong and alert enough to not give those evil thoughts another second of your time and you power through it and come out on top and stronger than before.
BUT even though you have those amazing. 'nothing can stop me now' moments, you WILL have those weaker ones. I can guarantee it! You can think that you've done so well that nothing can make you fail and when you least expect it BAM!

What you do when they hit is the key. How you react after you've indulged. Whether you let the evil win and take you over, or whether you banish it for the time being and kick some lifestyle ass. It's all in how you cope in those situations. Those little tests that we all have and will have. They are something that will continue to occur for the rest of your life. There will ALWAYS be temptation. It's not something you can ever get rid of.
Sometimes, it's great to give in to temptation. Let's face it - life is for living and being overly strict will only be an undoing.
Other times, the giving in to temptation will have you feeling terribly guilty. It will make you question why you bother? Why bother fighting it?

You fight because you are WORTH it. You fight because you know it's the right thing to do. You fight not only for you, but for the ones you love.

These situations will always be there. Now and forever. You have to ride the situations and accompanying emotions as best you can. You can scream and shout all you like. You can give in, but know that you HAVE to get right back on that rollercoaster and ride it all the way back to the top again.



I had a bad weekend. I don't have a decent excuse. Yes I had visitors. Yes I was so tired after training so hard on Saturday, looking after the kids and entertaining. Yes it's a little harder having the bad stuff in the house. But did someone else MAKE me eat it? Did someone force me at gun point to eat those 3 pieces of pizza? Was an IV of Coke placed in my hand while I was held down? NO! Noone else MADE me do any of this. It was my CHOICE. A choice that I should have realised at the time was a bad choice, but it was MY choice all the same.
Have I learnt from my mistakes? You bet I have! I have learnt that this is not going to be easy. That it's not all magically going to happen overnight. That I have to work HARD for it. I can't let my guard down for a second. It's not going to be easy, but it sure as heck is going to be worth it.

I got my backside right back on that 'wagon' and I'm back into it. I'm not hurting anyone but myself with this sabotage and what's the point in hurting myself? I'm worth so much more than that.

Just Fricking Do it! And, I am. ;)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Waiting for the day that I actually ENJOY running....

So I've been up since before the sun this morning for an early PT session. My early PT session is in town which involves a trip of around about 45 mins. I was early for my session so I walked 2 brisk laps before it started.... no point sitting in the car waiting doing nothing.
We did a circuit of 15's - 15 leg raise things, 15 kettle bells, 12 tricep curls and a run. We had to to 8 of these circuits as quickly as we could. Thankfully I didn't have to run as far so kept up with my super fit sister and BIL.
After that, they went for a 3km time trial and I just walked another 1.5kms. Nice way to burn 600 cals all before 9am.

I've since come home and finished off my fitness test (with the help of MIL who looked after the kids while I did my 1km time trial). Good grief I look forward to the day where I can run the whole 1km, and acutally ENJOY it! It's so hard to do it at this size although it's alot easier than it was 8 weeks (and nearly 17 kgs) ago ;)


My results have all improved. A couple of things I've moved from beginner to intermediate... and I'm nearly in advanced for push ups of all things (although I do them on my knees ;) ).

So my results as follows - remember... this is from someone lugging around between 145-150kgs, so there will be no stand out performances here.

1km time trial - wk 1 12m11sec   wk 4 11m23sec (48 secs off)
Push ups (in 1min) - wk 1 14, wk 4 29 (I'm only 1-2 off advanced!)
Wall sit (1 min) - wk 1 30secs,  wk 4 1m6sec
Ab stage - wk 1 0 (I could only get halfway up), wk 4 stage 1
Sit and reach - wk 1 -8, wk 4 -5

So improvements everywhere, some actually quite substantial. I'll be interested to see what the results will be after the 12 weeks.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I knew I liked Wednesdays for a reason....

Before 12wbt, Wednesdays felt like the week was going so slow. Now... Wednesdays can be either my favourite day, or least favourite... it depends what happens within my first 30mins that determines that.

So, Personal training last night was AWESOME! My PT totally kicked my ass! I burnt just under 500cals in the hour (last week was only 300 odd) and it was mainly weights with a little cardio. My thighs are complaining this morning but I told them to get over it, and went out for a walk. I cut 20mins off my time as I have a hectic day ahead with the kidlets, but I still managed a 343 cal burn which I'm happy with. Will get the zumba DVD out later on.

Measurements last night.... and I have lost 17cms from my body (21 cms with my PT's measurements which include arms and calves). Pretty happy with that. I'm also now concerned about my bridesmaids dress hanging off me in Jan if I keep pulling numbers like this... which I WILL!
Add to that my 2.8kg loss this week, and you can see why I'm concerned that in 3 months I have the potential to lose another 15odd kgs and possibly 45-50cms from my body measurements...... well that $330 dress and $85 bolero are looking like a bit fat waste of money. I think I'll call them today and go a size down.

Last night's dinner was AWESOME! Prawn and fetta pizza with baby spinach leaves. Yummo! Felt like we were having real pizza and now I won't feel like I'm missing out.

Isn't it funny how people always assume that healthy foods are bland and boring. The meals I've prepared over the last 8 weeks have been fantastic! Some have been a bit of a fail.... edible, but not enjoyable. Others have been absolute triumphs and considering how dodgy I am in the kitchen.... The family have been rather impressed!

This weeks loss brings me to 3.8kgs away from 20 kilos GONE. 20KGS!!!!!!!!! Holy crap! I thought that would take me something stupid like a year or 2 to shed, but it's taken 8 weeks. I LOVE this program. I'm just totally in the right frame of mind, even after a big fall like my netball trip. I can still manage to get right back into it and smash out some great numbers. If I really think about it, I have feelings of pride in myself. I LOVE that feeling.... It's not something I've felt alot.

Here's to another week of kicking calorie ass!

xx

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So I've not followed the program exactly. I'm altering veggie contents and meals in accordance to my preferences. I'm still making good food choices, still counting cals and making sure I'm not going overboard.
Today I made a wholemeal pasta with bolognaise. I used Turkey mince, a store bought tomato sauce base, added some extra light ricotta and a sprinkle of cheese on top. That's all it involved and it was very satisfying, not to mention quite filling and worked it out to be just over 300cals. I ended up making another 3 serves that now reside in my freezer for nights/days where I find it difficult to get much done.
Tonight the plan is the prawn and fetta pizza and I'm looking forward to seeing how that one turns out.

The only thing I'm finding hard at the moment is the times we eat dinner. The kids eat theirs by 6pm every night so that they are sorted for when I have a class or PT that night... hubby just has to put them to bed by 7.30. At the moment because the IL's are staying, hubs has obviously decided that because MIL is here, he doesn't need to be home as early as he should be, so then I'm not getting my dinner organised at all before I leave, which means some nights I'm not eating until nearly 9pm. I find this is stuffing around with my brekky in the mornings and find some mornings I just can't stomach anything until at least 9am. I guess I just need to find  a better way to work things in a little better. I'm eating, I'm having one snack a day (if I feel like it and always before I head out for some form of training). I'm still not drinking enough water... *runs off to grab bottle*.
It's hard to navigate the fridge and freezer with so much stuff in it at the moment, but I need to remind myself that it's only for a short time.... which reminds me, I was TOTALLY going to have some chocolate a few hours ago but I forgot about it! YAY!

The last 2 days I've been going crazy trying to get stuck into organising my sister's hen's party for January next year. It seems very early to be organising it, but when you think about Christmas and New Years being in there, I really need to have it sorted asap. I'm enjoying it but also finding it a little difficult as I don't yet have exact numbers and trying to find appropriate transportation is proving tough. Fingers crossed we get that sorted (that's the biggest headache at the moment).
I then have to think about a costume as it's a theme party. It would be nice to buy something that fits now and it be a bit loose by the time the party comes around, but I'm only really drop 1-1.5kgs a week at the moment so I don't think it's going to make a huge difference.

See 1-1.5kgs is actually alot, but being this size it really is nothing. I'm doubting just how much it actually shows now even though I have had people tell me I look smaller. I guess to people who don't really take notice I probably don't look that much different. I'm disappointed that it takes me so long to burn 500 cals a session. That people 50kgs lighter than me can burn it much easier than I can. It's annoying that even being bigger than people I still have to work harder. I still can't get my head around the 'why', but I really to just suck it up and stop concentrating so much on numbers... JUST FRICKING DO IT!
It's so hard trying to shut this stupid voice in my head, because I rely on it so much to steer me in the right direction aswell. I'd love to one day find the right balance.

I've been slack the last 2 days. Strength training was cancelled last night. I need to stop relying so much on other people and really get more done with my day. I'm annoyed with myself that I had planned to do some zumba today and I've not done it. I'm looking forward to my double PT session tonight, but it's not going to get me over my 500 cals for the day.
I think to myself some days, it's ok. At least I'm moving! At least I'm eating well and generally I move everyday. Yesterday sucked and I really need to get back into my early morning walks again.

Next week is the return of normalcy to a degree. Kinder starts back up which means my Monday 1.5-2hour walk returns. Mondays will be back over 500cals every week again. Playgroup starts up again and I usually make sure I'm up early and off for a walk before every playgroup, so hopefully that motivates me a little too. I'm loving my zumba classes and don't want to give them up, but I'm feeling a tad guilty about being out of the house 3 nights a week. I'm sure with some more fab results hubby won't be too bothered by it. He can see what effects it's having on me and he can't argue that they aren't pretty positive.

Blah. Enough waffle. Going to get my frame of mind into total the total ass kicking zone and completely smash out PT tonight. I owe it to myself to work harder than I have before.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

So, I'm out. LOL
I've told lots of people about the program I'm doing, the weight I've lost etc etc etc, but NEVER about this blog. I feel safe here knowing that most people who read this don't actually 'know' me. Well, that is now over. LOL (HELLO MY REAL LIFE FRIENDS!! haha).
I will NOT allow that to stop me being so honest. This blog afterall is about me, for me. I'm more than happy to share it in the hopes it might inspire others, but if I'm totally honest... it's all about me.

This week has been interesting. After my netball trip gain and subsequent smaller losses, I've finally gotten back down under where I was before I left. It's taken about 10 days to work off 2 days of crap..... that really SUCKS when you think about it!!

So, this week I've worked hard. I have indulged a little, but I've made sure I make up for that indulgence by getting right back on top of things. None of this "Well, I've eaten/drunken that now, I may aswell go nuts cos it's going to ruin everything anyway...."
Pfftt! CRAP!
I've had my fave pair of denim shorts that are only 3 months old fall down around my ankles constantly (and nearly been sprung by family!!) whilst out collecting wood (lucky I live rurally!). I've bought a size down in jeans (big win!). I wore a top today that I've had for a few years that is 2 sizes down from where I was just 7 weeks ago. I've found a beautiful bridesmaid dress that my sister adores that actually FITS and looks good on me. I've worked hard with my training, I organised a Sat morning PT session before we went shopping. I didn't eat SHIT while out shopping (sitting in the Chadstone food court and I went for a clear soup and good gosh it was fab!). I've done a bit. I even got off my giant backside and went for a walk tonight.
I've got my training schedule worked out for the coming week and I'm almost looking forward to Wednesdays weigh in. I'm hoping like mad my hard work pays off!

And I've learnt something. I can have a weekend out. No frills attached, let your hair down, enjoy yourself type weekend and still come out on top. It's taken restraint, will power and hard work to do it, but I know now what I'm in for. It's great to know what I need to do to avoid massive gains. That I CAN still have fun and limit the shit.

Life is pretty good right now. Oh and I'm only 35kgs off my QLD holiday with Hubs NO KIDS! WHOOP!!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

So things are going well this week. After my initial gain on the scales which was totally expected, but less than expected (1.2kgs gain after my massive weekend is pretty good I think!). I'm eating pretty well most of the time and I've made my PT sessions into a double session from now on. It rained heavily yesterday so that cancelled my walk and some DVD's were meant to turn up but didn't... so apart from a bit of walking whilst out shipping not much was done. I'm hoping they arrive today because the weather is horrible again and I need something to do today.

I had a nice salad sandwhich yesterday while we were out. I did sneak a few small peices of chicken, but overall I was very good. My water drinking has gone downhill since the weekend and I'm really going to have to get back ontop of that.
I made a platter yesterday afternoon as some friends dropped by and although I had rice crackers, I did steal a fair amount of cheese. I had also had a yoghurt, so skipped a proper dinner meal and had some more yoghurt. There's no way I would have been under 1200 cals anyway and I wasn't hungry at all.

Today I'm making pumpkin soup from the crunchtime cookbook and looking forward to it. It's really cold today so it should go down well.

Zumba tonight night and some more at home stuff on Friday before I've organised a PT session on Saturday morning with my sister's PT. We're off to Melb Saturday for bridesmaid dress shopping (which I'm dreading!) and I figured we may aswell get some training in there. I've also been invited to a fun run on Sunday which I really want to do, but I'm not too sure if I'll be able to make it. It's a fair drive...

It's hard to be able to do what you want to do with 2 toddlers. Don't get me wrong, my kids are pretty good about it all, and they don't mind going into care, or when Mum heads out a few nights a week. I guess the hardest part is our distance from town. There are so many gym classes I'd like to do but just can't. Ah well.... I best just make the most of it!

Monday, September 26, 2011

I feel like I'm starting this all over again. Like I've not done all of this hard work to get here.
My weekend was great and I don't REALLY regret it (in other words, I do a little bit).
I didn't eat well. Noone to blame but myself. I could have, but I chose not to. I drank to excess on the Friday night... and it's probably a lot more excessive than most people can handle.
I had heaps of fun and I'm not going to dwell on it.
One thing I did consistently all weekend was have smaller meals and not snack on crap. No potato chips, no choccies. If I was having bread, it was always grain bread - everytime.

That's really not THAT big of a deal compared to my last 6 weeks, but compared to 8 weeks ago it's pretty awesome.

One thing I did notice was how sluggish and yuck I felt after consuming all the crap. It wasn't enjoyable and I'm looking forward to feeling healthy again.

Last night I got back on the wagon. I ate well. I drank lots of water. I'm about to plan my weeks meals and I've gotten right back into it this morning. I feel like I'm starting all over again.

So tonight is strength training. I'm also going to bust my ass and get on my exercise bike and cross trainer.... I'm going to do 5 mins on each and then swap for an hour. I HAVE to do this! I stepped on the scales last night and I was 3kgs heavier.....

This week WILL be a gain. I know where and why I went wrong and I know what I'm going to do to get back on the wagon. I feel like it will be more of a struggle than it has been though.

I'm going to need motivation in BUCKET loads this week.

Friday, September 23, 2011

I've done it! I've lost another 1kg since Wednesday which takes me to approx 15kgs since August 15. Happy about that! I wanted to hit that '15'kg mark and It's done. My Wednesday loss was 2.1kgs so that's 3.1kgs since last Wednesday.
I've made sure I've worked out everyday. I've eaten really well and haven't had many snacks. All in preparation for my netball trip this weekend.
I'm finally excited about going. It's about time I got to let my hair down and have some fun with my mates. I'm not overly concerned about the weight gain that will follow.... it's a given and I think it's a great test for me to see how well I can get right back into it. I know ultimately it will slow my weight loss down, but heck!! I've lost this much already! I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd even lose this much over the whole 12 week + 4 week preseason program! A small bump in the road which I will not again encounter until Jan next year at my sisters wedding (where I WILL be nearly 40kgs down :) )
I've worked hard. I've changed my mindset completely. I know that alcohol is not good and I'm not going to go totally overboard like days gone by, but I think I deserve a few celebratory drinks. I'm no longer celebrating with food so that's a huge win! I'm constantly trying to justify this weekend to myself and others, but it's only me who matters in the end. I'm happy with my decision and very excited to be going on our mystery netball trip.

Have a fantastic weekend! I'll be back next week with all the good (and the very bad) updates on Monday.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Removing the blinkers...

Today I'm giving it 150%. I'm going to keep my eating to 1200cals by tracking it. I'm not going to snack unless I feel like I need it (which will be a yoghurt before PT tonight). I'm going to burn well over 500cals seeming as I've slackened right off exercise wise. I now know that I need to make the most of everyday, because there will be days like yesterday where I had my 1000 cals totally planned out and every single plan fell through. My walking buddy decided it was a no go and we had a special day at kinder so I ended up staying. My strength training class was cancelled because of the horrid weather. I wanted to go for a walk, but with storms and 100km/h+ gusts of wind it was too dangerous. Normally, I could have done my own training at home and smashed it out. With my IL's living here for the moment I feel somewhat embarrassed and unable to train. I will be making the most of them being at work today by getting off my butt and getting stuck into it.
Thanks for the support, Rob!


I don't feel confident for much of a loss this week. I was a little naughty Sat night and my training has not been up where it should be. I hope to lose something (I'd love to lose 3 kgs and be 15kgs down by my netball trip) but I don't think it will happen. Just means I HAVE to work harder! I HAVE to train EVERYDAY. I HAVE to eat clean EVERYDAY! I HAVE to keep doing what I'm doing and not falling back into my old rut. I don't feel like I'm anywhere near it food wise at the moment... I mean my naughty meal was 2 small peices of pizza with SALAD! I'd never have done that before.
I am sneaking little tastes of things in though. About 6 chips with dinner last night because that's what the others were having. It's go to STOP! I cannot do this to myself because knowing me, 6 chips will turn into a plate of chips, which will turn into crap eating, less exercise, depression again..... it's not a road I want to go down.

No more blinkers! 

I have seen the signs. I KNOW what I'm doing is wrong. That in itself is an achievement.
I've taken off my blinkers that were trying to partially block things out and I can see it all very clearly now.
I have written my plan for today and I'm GOING to stick to it. I must. I cannot fail now when things have been going so so well.

Bring on weigh in day!

Monday, September 19, 2011

So It's been a few days and I'm back :) Nothing really terribly exciting to report. I didn't do my SS on the weekend like I was supposed to, although I am planning on making up for it over the next few days.
After our run in with the 5 foot brown snake, I'm quite wary of heading outside anytime soon...unless clothed in 4 inch steel from head to toe. Bikram yoga eat your heart out!!

Lots of family comments now about how they can really tell that I've lost weight. It's great considering I don't have an official pre season starting point, but it's got to be pretty darn close to what my PT is suggesting because I'm getting comments and 5kgs wouldn't make much of a difference to this ample frame.

Saturday treat night was a bit of a fail. I think I'm going to cut 'treat' nights from my 12wbt because it will only cause high calorie induced pain. I was so good all day and then we were out from 3pm until well after midnight. I had to eat what the masses were eating. In this case, 2 slices of pizza with a side salad (there was more salad than pizza). I did enjoy it and I don't really regret it all that much. It was a very nice meal that will not happen very often. I kicked water intake ass anyway. I didn't eat nay of the party foods at the party we attended and Sunday morning was back on the straight and narrow. Good girl! That's a win in itself!

This weekend is our netball trip. I'm excited to go, but had I been doing the 12wbt before I had organised it all, I think I would have stayed home instead. I've not had one alcoholic beverage since very early August and I don't miss it, but the netball trip culture around these parts is alcohol to excess. I will let my hair down and have a good time. I will make the best choices I can and not drink anywhere near as much as I would have pre 12wbt, but I will do some damage. Clean eating and exercise all the way until I leave (including the morning before we depart and a VERY healthy lunch) and then I've decided that the Sunday will be back on the straight and narrow again for the trip home. I WILL enjoy myself and I WILL get right back into it again once I get home. My plan is at least 2-3 1000cal training sessions before I leave, and at least 2 when I get back to partly ammend the bad I will be doing. I'm pretty sure I will gain some weight but I am prepared for this and it will not hold me back.

Today's weather is not great, so I'll get on the wii once the kids DVD is finished and then my strength training class is on tonight. Looking forward to it :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

My followers!!

HELLO!! Thanks for joining my blog!
I'm enjoying seeing new names and pics come up every so often and I have wondered about where you are all from, what you do and how you came across my page.
Please feel free to leave a comment, including your blog address so I can pop by and visit.
I LOVE reading all these blogs. They are such a huge source of inspiration for me, as are followers and people reading my dribble.

Thanks again for stopping by and I'd love to hear from you anytime :)

xx

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Woohoo Wednesdays!

That's my new name for this day of the week - WOOHOO Wednesdays! It's weigh in day and although I've been freaking out about a gain for this week (for no real reason other than my lack of self confidence because my eating has been fantastic), I've managed to lose 1.1kgs :) Very happy and it finally brings me back under 150kgs! So excited that I'm under that!
So that brings my approximate weight loss to around 12kgs since I started pre season. I have 18.9kgs to goal for the next 12 weeks and I am GOING TO DO IT!

Last night after my session my PT took my measurements. We took some 2 weeks ago and I was quite interested to see if I'd lost anything. Turns out I've lost 15cms total off my body measurements in 2 weeks!
3 off my chest and 6 off my tummy which are my 2 main problem areas. Pretty happy with that... this 1.1kgs is just the icing on the cake.

I was so happy with my results this morning that I have already burnt my 500cals for the day. Took off for my walk at 6am. Now just some incidental exercise through out the day and I think I might even try for another 100-200 cals later this afternoon.

Hoping to get to Zumba tomorrow night. Looking forward to having a good giggle with my sisters and Mum.

Loving how much more organised I am with life in general now too. It's not even 9am, and I'm showered dressed, as are the kids, we've all had brekky and dishes are done. I'll hang out a load of washing in a minute and then vac the floor and that's me for the day all before 10am!
Looking forward to the lasagne tonight too :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

12wbt Bloggers Challenge

So I'm joining in with Kath from courage 2 start in a blogging challenge. What better way to connect with and find out more about the people who are taking a part of the 12wbt than this. Week 1 is:

 INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

Copy the following questions to your blog. Answer them. Help us to get to know our fellow bloggers and what you really think of 12wbt!

1. Describe yourself in 25 words or less. You can get straight to the point - or bring your creativity into play.  

Crazy mum of 2 toddlers, wife of a total car nut, fun loving, exercise craving, previously poor eating 12wbter.

2. What brings you to 12wbt? Getting fitter? Losing weight? (Gaining weight??) Are you first timer, a repeat offender?? 

 A change. I am at the point in my life where if I don't do something right now, I'm not going to be around long enough to see my children grow up, to meet my grandchildren, to enjoy life. It's time to shed a great deal of KG's and get healthier.

3. Why do you blog??
  

It's not something I've previously done, but I feel it holds me accountable to my followers and to myself, and it also motivates me. I can see how well I did yesterday and kick myself into gear, especially if I'm feeling a bit down and out.
4. Who is your biggest inspiration in life and why (doesn't have to be weight loss) 

I wouldn't say I have one main source of inspiration. At the moment, every 12wbter is right up there though.

5. What things in life bring you the most joy? 

My kids and husband. Playing sport. Family. Going on outings.

6.What do you think your greatest challenge is going to be this round? 

For me, the food is my biggest challenge. I've been a fussy eater ever since I can remember and now it's time to grow up and give everything a crack.

7. What are you most excited about 12wbt?  

The overall transformations. I am looking forward to dropping a dress size and just being able to say - I did it! 

8. And what scares the pants off you? 

Failing. It's what's held me back every single other time, but this time it's different.

9. Tell me - right now - today - how do you feel about exercise in no more than 10 words

 LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it! 

10. Complete this sentence - in 12 weeks time - on the last day of 12wbt I am going to be feeling ___________ AMAZING. Fitter, healthier and happier. 





Can't wait to read what others have written! Looking forward to sharing more little snippets.

THAT photo....

Sunday and yesterday were pretty horrible days. Sunday afternoon I got hubs to take THAT photo. In just a bra and undies. I knew it was going to be bad, but having already lost between 10 and 12 kgs in pre season, I figured it would be half ok.....
How wrong I was.
It was honestly, the most disgusting, horrendous thing I have ever seen. That picture is so depressing. I was so angry with myself for being ok at that weight. It's NOT ok. To be a little truthful, I'm also a little upset that noone really TRIED to get through to me before now. How could they love me and not be worried about me at this size? I guess they loved me so much that they didn't want to hurt me, but look at where not hurting me got. :(
I HATE that photo. I hate it with a passion. I was sick to my stomach as I uploaded it to my stats page last night. I felt like I was going to vomit. It was absolutely horrible and I feel terribly ill thinking that even a couple of people will see it. :( Here's to NEVER looking like that EVER EVER again!!!

I guess in a way it was a good test. I was depressed seeing it Sunday night so went for a walk. I was depressed seeing it yesterday, so busted my backside at training. I not once even considered gorging on junk and crap. Not once. That really shows me just how far I've come in only 4 weeks.

Today I decided to start my fitness test. Oh what fun this is going to be over the next 12 weeks with 2 toddlers in tow... :S Just after my first lap of the oval my daughter was screaming at me and I hit a pothole and rolled my ankle. Fricking Annoying!!!! I helped her whizz on the oval (when you gotta go, you gotta go!) and just sat for a few minutes before stretching my ankle for a minute, then standing on it to test it, then deciding to just get back into it so I started again. I was planning on running for at least a little of the 1km, but I didn't want to push my ankle any further than it needed to.... I cannot afford to stop training!
So I did the 2.5 laps of the football oval (approx 1km) in 12mins and 11 secs. I guess for just walking that's not too bad and I'm sure had I have done it a few weeks ago it would have been slower. It will be interesting to see if I can go any faster in 4 weeks.
I'm about to go into the lounge room and complete the rest of the test. I can already tell it's not going to be great results, but this is for ME and noone else. These results are for me to compare every 4 weeks and see just how much fitter I am getting.
I'll be strapping my ankle full time from now on so I don't have to worry about it again. Stupid netball injuries!

On another note: I did change my 12wbt weight loss goals yesterday. Since I've already achieved approx 10kgs which was my 12 week goal, I'm now going for 20kgs from yesterday until the end of the 12 weeks. It's ON!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

So my weekend's been rather blah. I've still been eating well, but yesterday I didn't exercise at all, and today I'm going to make myself go for a walk/jog when hubby gets home. I do have the dreaded AF.... I'm sure that's making me feel much less excited about food and exercise than normal. I have managed to stave off any chocolate cravings and such without having to even think about it which is awesome. Hopefully AF will get the hint not to mess with me from now on. lol

We have my IL's moving in for 3-5 weeks later today which will make my eating and exercising a little difficult in some respects, but also hopefully a little easier too. I'll be able to go for walks more often as there will be more people in the house, but I'm not sure how they'll like the food we are currently eating, so I'm not too sure what to do about that....  Fingers crossed it's a bit easier than I'm anticipating.
Strength training tomorrow night aswell as our weekly kinder walk. Should smash out 500 cals very easily. I better get my backside into gear this week if I want to drop any weight at all!

I'm yet to take my picture. I keep using the 'no time' excuse. I guess deep down I'm trying to avoid it. I haven't got my measurements with me either... my PT has them and she's interstate so I don't think I'll get them in in time. I'm not sure whether I should really push it and try and get everything in, or to just not stress about this round, and go about what I'm doing. I guess I'll make that decision by the end of tonight.

Not sure when I will do my fitness test. Possibly Tuesday.



Reading this over WHAT A WAKE UP! I sound so laid back about it all, so blase. I NEED to get my backside into gear and NOW is the time to do it! I need some more encouragement, so I better head off to the forums I think.

Friday, September 9, 2011

I've been going really well with my morning wake ups and walks. Yesterday I got up to use the loo at 5.55am and checked the time. Decided I'd go back to bed for 30 mins then get up and go for my walk. After 2 steps I told my self NO! You will do it now because if you go back to bed you will not wake up!
So I JFDI! I LOVE that saying! I'm living by it at the moment.
Smashed out 493cals in 1hr 6mins just walking. Awesome ;)

We had a family BBQ last night. I went prepared.... only salad and some extra lean beef chevaps (2 because I worked it they would fit into my calorie allowance). I did well. I did take a tiny bite out hubbys crusty bread roll with a little margarine on it, but that was it. I said no to everything else. No creamy pastas. No sausages. No pudding for dessert! Washed everything down with my trusty bottle of water and still enjoyed myself :)

My family saw me for the first time in 2 weeks and my sisters said they could def tell I'd lost weight. They already knew how much I'd lost because I'd told them, but it was so good for them to recognise it.
My parent's neighbours who are like Grandparents to us were there too. I haven't seen them for a couple of months and they had no idea I was following this program. Anyway, my 'grandmother' said straight away " Nicky, you've lost weight! You've lost LOTS of weight! You look fantastic!"
Ahhh music to my ears!!! I ended up telling the entire family about what I'd done and what I was aiming for over the next 3 months. They were all so super supportive and happy about it all. My sisters were really interested in what I was doing (and one sister who is doing this with me and hasn't started yet... well hopefully I've given her the motivation to get her backside into gear).
Even my Dad said he saw that I'd lost weight. For my Dad to say that... well clearly I've shifted quite a bit. I know deep down he is proud of me, even if he doesn't say it. He'll be so proud of me when I DO lose the 20kgs I'm aiming for by Christmas :)

So a late night was had.... VERY late night and I felt it in my best interests to forgo my walk this morning. I woke at 7.30 with a headache and I've been drinking water since I've gotten up and it's subsiding. I will do something today.... even if it's only half an hour and I don't burn my 300cals.

I am also going to make use of the calorie king website again. I haven't used it for about a week and I've snuck a few little things in that I 'think' are keeping my under my limits.... but I cannot be sure and I WANT to be sure.
Time for my late breakfast and housework! Tonnes to do today so that incidental exercise will probably burn a bit without me even knowing it. :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Weigh In Day Is My Favourite Day So Far!

So, as I've mentioned I started my preseason on August 15th. I didn't have scales to begin with but had an idea of what I weighed, having been weighed about 4 months ago. Well, clearly I was totally off!!
I've been seeing my PT twice a week and she's gone through a program doing similar and also being my weight before she was a PT, she knows how much my body will most likely burn.
Last night after training she commented that my legs were skinnier, and that I've most likely lost 10kgs since I started. I had a laugh... as if!!!! She was telling me about her bootcamp and girls my size dropping 5kgs a week at the start! That's insane (but I'd secretly LOVE to drop weight like that!).
Anyway, this morning the alarm went off at 6.30. I'd said last night that I was going for my hour walk before hubs heads to work. I hit the snooze button... just 5 more minutes. 30 seconds later I remembered it was weigh in day, so I jumped out of bed, ran to the loo and then to my scales.
Wouldn't you know it.... I've lost 2.1kgs since my very first weigh in on Saturday morning!! My scales read 150.7kgs). WOOHOO!!!  It really IS working!!!! Proudly I dressed and took off for my walk - 432 calories burnt. The other 68 I will burn on my walk to the letterbox and back and then I'll burn some more running after the kids at playgroup today (not that I will measure it!).

So I've had a good think about what my PT said during my walk this morning. If I can lose 2.1kgs in 4 days with only 2 days of exercise and a night out to the pub for dinner.... then it is most likely that I have in fact lost 10kgs since August 15th. WOW! 10 kgs down! That was my initial 12 week goal!
I've since changed that to 20 kgs from Next Wednesday. Cannot wait to give it a crack!!

Monday, September 5, 2011

So, today was crazy hectic running around after the kids. I did fit in a 50 minute walk with a friend that burnt 320 cals and I've got strength training tonight which should take me well over the 500 mark. Very happy with myself ( had a salad sandwhich today for lunch while out... DS had KFC and I didn't even think about what I might possibly order for me.).

Was shopping this afternoon to pick a few small things up and saw a couple of people I knew, one I haven't seen for about 2 months. I got my first weight loss comment!!! She said "you look like you've lost weight."
Didn't that put a giant smile on my dial!! I explained to her what I was doing and how I'd been going for 3 weeks already and wasn't sure if I had in fact lost anything and that I loved her telling me that. LOL
So excited!!

Anyway, I've got an hour to get dinner on for the kids and served, a really quick tidy up and hubs some dinner organised before I head off to strength training. Very interested in what I will burn tonight as it's mainly weights based.

Good day! :)

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I just feel very blah. Totally unmotivated. A bit aggro. Bored.... normally I'd be bingeing on deep fried foods and chocolate and coke by now, but I don't crave any of that.
I've not done any exercise since Friday. Well, yesterday there was lots of incidental exercise, but today only a couple of hours of that. I feel flat.
I want to go for a walk, but it's fathers day and hubby is in the shed after letting me sleep for 2 hours this afternoon. I shouldn't have had that sleep.... I didn't need it.
Anyway, I'm not calling him in when he's had the kids all afternoon and it's HIS day. Hopefully he'll be inside soon and I can see what visibility is like outside and go for a walk.
I haven't drunk enough water today. I left my drink bottle at home and wasn't near any drinking water until 1.30pm. I've probably had 1 litre and I'm going to push it to 2 tonight. I def feel dehydrated today. That constant thirsty feeling.

My kids are irritating me, and I put that down to the sleeping and eating last night too.... I'm so frustrated at the moment.

Anyway, I just wanted to document how I'm feeling. I'm hoping I can look back at this in a few days and thank my lucky stars that this only happens every so often...

Tomorrow is going to be flat out and I'm not looking forward to it. Bring on Tuesday!


Reality hits

So my scales arrived Friday afternoon. I was really hoping to be smaller than I thought I was. Unfortunately, I'm the same weight as I thought I was (152.8kgs), so I'm thinking perhaps I was actually BIGGER than this 3 weeks ago :( Those numbers are so depressing when you actually see them. I'm trying not to over think it. Not to  concentrate solely on a number that my set of scales decides, but it's so hard. That number keeps flashing up in my head all the time. Here's hoping that it flashes up if I ever get far too tempted....

Last night was a meal out. I only drank water and I had a chicken breast with salad meal (although is was drizzled with balsamic vinegar and an avocado aioli. :S
I ended up also having half a peice of chocolate cake for dessert. last night was my treat night for the next couple of weeks!!
This morning I cooked hubs breakfast and I had a serve of weight watches bacon, a piece of multigrain toast (no butter) and an egg. I did have a hot chocolate (45 cals) and I think I stayed within the 300cals limit which is great because I feel very full and satisfied. There is no more bacon left either... hubby polished that off for me :)
I'll be a good girl today and I'm going to go for a walk once my brekky has settled. I will also attempt some wii and exercise bike throughout the day.

That number. It's really absolutely Horrible. How the HELL did I let myself get this way? How could I do it to myself? This is NOT how anyone should live!
Thankfully, I have an arsenal of 12wbt weapons to kick this flab tot he curb now :) And I WILL!


Friday, September 2, 2011

Yesterday, I started typing about how I got to this point. About how food for me was a reward and I've treated it that way ever since. How my isolation in my previous home was the main contributing factor to depression which I mist likely suffered for a few years, but only sorted out earlier this year. How my weight is also a HUGE factor into the depression I had.
I'm happy to say that I'm no longer on Anti Depressants. That I'm pretty darn happy with my life at the moment, and the only thing that I would change is my weigh and health.
It was a huge post about everything that I have and haven't done over the last 10 years... and then the power went out. And it stayed out for another 2 hours....suffice to say that I lost my train of thought, my post and any really important revelations I had.
Today though, is another day.

I'm finding it hard to get myself to train EVERY day. The last few days I've been rather slack. I'm a real people person. I love to workout in groups and have others there for support. It's too easy for me being a stay at home Mum to find some excuse as to why I can't do something. Every day we walk to the letter box and back, the kids and I and it takes around 15 minutes and burns between 60 and 70 cals (Yes, I've measured the burn to my letterbox and back... haha). At least I'm moving which is more than I was doing a few weeks ago.
I've been mucked around with my normal classes being cancelled (which I was not happy about, but that's life), trying to organise everything in this house (we still have boxes everywhere from our move 2 months ago) and fitting it around the kids activities and toilet training the little girl. NO EXCUSES WOMAN!!! Today I've done the letterbox walk, and I'm about to hop on the exercise bike and then 30 mins of wii. Tonight when I get home from heading out for the afternoon I'll either get back on the exercise bike, or the wii and get hubs into it aswell.

I'm doing SOOO well with the food side of things. We were out last night and hubs decided on a pub meal. I really considered it but said NO WAY! I think hubs was impressed, although starving as dinner ended up being rather late. I came home and heated up a dinner I'd had a few nights before.
The food side of things is really the toughest thing for me and at the moment, I'm kicking it's ass! I never thought that I'd struggle more with exercise than I would with food!

Right, time to spin those pedals....

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Back into the grind again yesterday with kinder for DS. I'd mentioned my determination to exercise more and another Mum said that she'd like to do something maybe when Kinder was on. So I sent her a message and we met up and went for a 1.5 hour walk. I didn't wear my HRM, but it was a decent walk. Really enjoyed it and we are going to do it as often as possible and already have a date for next Monday :)
Monday nights are normally a strength training class but last night it was cancelled. I was quite peeved and I was really looking forward to it (and I LOVE that I was peeved about missing some exercise!!!).
Today I've taken it easy. Lots of incidental exercise and then PT tonight which was full of boxing. My poor arms!!! In 37 mins I burned 242 calories which wasn't too bad. My PT also did my measurements and has them on record and when I've actually lost some cms I might be brave enough to post them.... but not tonight.

Scales should be here tomorrow. I will weigh myself as soon as I get them and I WILL own that number and record it both in my blog and on the forum. Noone else got me to this number... I only have myself to blame and I need to take ownership of it and kick it's arse!

Tomorrow is playgroup and I'll come home and either do some wii or jump on the exercise bike... probably both.  There is a class that I REALLY want to go to tomorrow night, but life is getting in the way this week.

Tonight's dinner was the chicken sang choy bow from the crunchtime cookbook. I did alter the veggie content to what I had in the house, but it's a dish I will have again :)  YUM!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Weekends can be evil...

Ooo Weekends are going to be tricky little buggers, aren't they?!
Yesterday we went on a day trip to visit family. I made sure I had breakfast before we went and because we left so early in the morning there really wasn't time for any exercise. Therefore yesterday was dubbed "rest day".
I took some rice crackers and a protein bar for snacks in case I got hungry and planned on a sandwhich/salad for lunch depending on where we were.
So the morning went great. I drank heaps of water and wasn't really hungry until lunch time. The plan was to grab some salad and rolls from the supermarket and go crazy. Well, plans change. Fish and Chips were the order of the day and I wasn't too worried because I've been so good for a fortnight.
Naughty!! I felt guilty after agreeing, so I ordered as healthily as I could - a peice of grilled fish and 2 steamed dim sims. Unfortunately, the steamed dim sims weren't included in the order and the fish wasn't going to be enough to sustain me until dinner time, so I opted to eat a potato cake and about 6-8 chips and that was it. Usually I'd down a couple of potato cakes, half a plate of chips, piece of fish, a couple of fried dim sims...... wash it down with coke and feel so sick afterwards. My mind is in a better place now and I did as well as I could have.

We left very late afternoon and I didn't feel hungry so the rice crackers and protein bar weren't touched - no snacks for the day.  We didn't get anywhere near home by dinner time and the kids were hungry so we decided to have a treat night. It had been such a long day and we were exhausted. The kids had KFC and we had subway ;) I think considering what I would have done not so long ago, yesterday was a good day! Iwouldn't have been much outside my calorie limit (I don't think), so was happy with how I'd went. 3 litres of water (I had a mouthful of coke.... I won't be doing that for a while!!). A good day :)

This morning I woke early and I went for an hours walk. I know, walks are supposed to be crap for burning calories but when you're this size anything that gets you moving it pretty good. I ended up burning 459 calories!! Stoked! I was a little tired afterwards (I was walking as fast as these little legs could carry me non stop!), but I've felt so great all day!
Grabbed a quick breakfast (poached eggs) and then was off to a tupperware party. Cakes, biscuits, party pies sausage rolls..... it was a MINEFIELD! I took a packet of rice crackers with me and was so good I had one serving of those (approx 12 crackers) and drank my water, very happy with myself for not stuffing up my day with fatty sugary crap!

So it's been an interesting weekend. I'm now home, safe in these walls where we don't have a lot of crap that can tempt me. Even if we did, I'm feeling so strong at the moment I wouldn't touch it ;)



Edit: I've just burnt another 186 cals doing Wii active :) Exercise bike was being naughty.
My total burnt for today is 645 baby!!!! I feel like I could burn a few more tonight, but I think I'll give myself a rest. No point going gang busters and being worn out for tomorrow :)