Saturday, October 29, 2011


So today was my second ever SSS. I burnt a nice 1300 cals and I'm rather pleased with myself. Also dodged all the yummy afternoon tea at our tennis club. Good girl.

This post is not going to be about me though. This is a post about my husband. My super supportive husband who is more than happy to allow me to go out most nights and train. Is happy to eat what I am eating. Tells me often how well I'm doing and how I've lost so much weight. How good I'm looking.

My supportive husband who now watches what he eats. Who now comes to a PT session every Saturday morning even though we have to wake at 6am to leave by 6.30am to arrive by 7.30am. Who doesn't bring home shitty food because "he's not on a diet so he can have what he wants".

My awesome hubby who has now as a consequence of eating well more often and exercising more than he used to, has lost more than 5kgs and has his fave pair of jeans fall off him.

I'm so proud of him. He's doing so well. He's supporting me and he's always thinking about what he can do to help. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband in my life.... and my super supportive families aswell. I don't know what I'd do without them and I credit my 20kgs gone so far to them... especially Mr Flab to Fab ;)

Friday, October 28, 2011

I get knocked down, but I get up again....

So I'm not doing so well.

Things are sneaking in. Training has dropped. Excuses are coming out again. I cannot let this happen!!!
I think because I've practically lost 20kgs since day 1 preseason, I've decided that It's such a huge milestone and wasn't as hard as I imagined, that I can relax a little. Silly, silly girl. That's the LAST thing I can do!

Relaxing has caused me to only lose 100grams this week. Relaxing has held me back another week from attaining exactly 20kgs. It's giving me another week less to hit my 30kg mark. I'm now not so sure that I'll make the 10kgs in the next 4&1/2-5 weeks to make it. It's noone's fault but my own.
I've had people living with us who've brought some of the naughty stuff in.... suck it up princess! You have to deal with that stuff everyday for the rest of your life now! It's not a good excuse.
I've had a sick daughter who has been waking alot during the night.... but again, that's what nana naps are for! Or just go to bed earlier!

Don't get me wrong, 80% of the time I'm good. I hold myself back, I train hard. I push myself. That 20% is holding me back from achieving what I KNOW I can do. I KNOW I am capable of it. I could lose 12kgs in the next 4 weeks if I put my mind to it... just like the first 4 weeks of preseason.

If I was still the same person I was 3 months ago, I would have thrown in the towel. "This is too hard." "Ican't do it" "I don't deserve it" "you idiot! You've stuffed everything up now, may as well just pack it in.".

I am not that person anymore. I've told myself off. I know what I've done is wrong. I know how to fix it and I know that I can do it. I already have!

3 months ago, my initial goal was 12kgs lost in 16 weeks. I really thought that would be a stretch. I had no idea that I could lose that in 4 weeks!
I know better now and I WILL get back into it. I will not fall backwards during the 'off-season'. I have come too far now to throw it all away. I've gotten a taste of the weight loss bug. I've started noticing the changes in my own body myself and I enjoy it too much.

The song Tubthumping has come to mind a lot recently......

'I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down.'

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Whoop Whoop Wednesday!

So I was hoping to come in and write up a massive post about how I'd smashed out 20kgs.......
I'm 700grams away from it. LOL.
I had a loss of 2.1kgs this week. I'm not at all disappointed with my loss... more than happy to have another 2+kg loss. The icing on the cake (so to speak) would have been to hit the 20kg loss today, but I get another week to smash that out - and I will.

My stats as of today are now - 19.3kgs lost. 163kgs - 143.7kgs since August 15th. 66 days.
My initial goal before the start of preseason was 2kgs lost in preseason and 10kgs lost in the 12 weeks on the full program.
I lost the 12 kgs in preseason.
I then adjusted my goal to be a full 30kgs lost in preseason and the 12 weeks. I'm currently 10.7kgs away from that goal. I have 6 weeks to complete it. I can def get that done if I lose 1.5-2kgs every single week. My plan is to smash that out. I WANT to achieve it. It is going to be my driving force for the next 6 weeks. I'm not going to let any minor slip ups hold me back.

It's my fricking time! I'm finally feeling so proud of myself for my loss. I still don't really feel as if I've lost this much.... but the scales don't lie.
Bring it on I say! I cannot wait for the next 6 weeks. To kick my own arse and get rid of 10.3kgs. I can do it!!!!!!!

BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

So I've had a busy week! School holidays over with so that means back into the kinder runs and playgroup. Tennis season started back up and we still have our house guests. It's a bit crazy around here at times, especially with a 4yo and 2&1/2 year old, but it can also be all kinds of fun.

Anyway, last weeks weigh in.... not ideal. I had a loss of 200grams. A loss is a loss though, right?! It's still a little disappointing. I know where I went wrong and why the scales weren't as kind as they could have been. I've only done better since then. I do have a naughty little 'weighing myself almost daily' obsession.... and sometimes more than once. Whoops. I need to hit that nail on the head soon. I think it's more because I can taste the 20kgs lost. I'm so so close now! I would LOVE to hit it tomorrow!

This week was also a week of training firsts - Saturday morning was the first time hubby did a PT session with me. He's feeling it too! haha
We had to wake at 545am. Get ourselves organised and have the kids stuff organised, wake and dress the kids and then leave at 6.30am to get them to my Parents place about 50 minutes away. A quick drop off before we drove another 20mins into town and to the PT session.
I LOVE my Sat morning PT sessions! Both of my sisters and my future BIL attend. They are all much fitter than I but having them there spurs me on to do better.
We also train at the only Lake in town. It's on a major road and there are plenty of on lookers.... but I will NOT let that stop me. I don't care what I look like when I train, because I know that the next week I will be even smaller ;)
So, the Saturday morning session was HARD! It was hard for my super fit size 8 sister, so it was hard! haha. Hubs had no idea what he was getting into. He completed everything and was absolutely buggered afterwards. He's been complaining about all his sore muscles on the occasion since. We all had sore backs after PT and then went and played 6 hours of tennis - yes we are MAD! It was awesome though as Saturday was my FIRST SSS! I ended up burning a touch under 1200 cals for the day and I wasn't even really trying when playing tennis.... I def could have pushed myself a bit harder. Happy to have hit that magical 1000 though!

Are we still feeling Saturday's PT session? You bet! I think I'll still be feeling it at my next Sat session, but it's not going to stop me from busting my chops!
Yesterday morning I did a 2hour walk and chat with a friend. We do this most Mondays while our oldest kids are at kinder... saves me driving the 20 mins home then another 20 back to pick DS up before driving another 20 home....
Was thrilled to have burnt 632cals just walking at a normal pace and chatting away. The time went so quickly too. It was great! LOVED that my friend who I haven't really seen for 3 weeks said she could really tell that I'd lost weight. Gosh I LOVE those comments!!

Last night MIL and I (along with about 4 other local ladies) did our weekly strength training session. I ended up burning another 370cals to take my daily burn to 1000 cals - AGAIN! that's 2 1000+ burns in 3 days! Very happy with that effort!

I'm really looking forward to my PT session tonight. This one is out here in the sticks with my fave PT of all time... someone who has been where I am now and has lost it all and gotten fit. Someone who understands my physical and emotional pain. Someone who is so easy to get along with..I have a blast with her even when she's kicking my butt! She's got her own PT session at the gym today and I have no doubt she'll bring some nice nasty routines back to hit me with tonight. Looking forward to it.

Oh, and I'm 1kg from 20kgs lost. I'm praying that I reach that 20kg mark tomorrow, but if I don't, I know I'll smash it out next week!


I LOVE 12wbt!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The ups, the downs, the highs, the lows.... my own personal theme park!

This whole journey is a real rollercoaster of emotions.
I've never really understood it all before. I just thought you lost weight until you were happy and then life went on. It really is a total overhaul of everything though. Change the way you eat, change the way you train, change the way you think and feel.

I'm riding that rollercoaster as best I can. I'm having the dips... some very small ones some much larger. I am finding that after the dips I'm hitting big highs though. I'm LOVING everything about the training. The food is really yummy and easy to prepare. The mindset - that is the hard part. Just when you think you've got it all sorted out of nowhere comes that little devil that sits on your shoulder, taunting you and urging you to do what you shouldn't. Sometimes that little devil catches you at a weak moment and you give in. Sometimes you are strong and alert enough to not give those evil thoughts another second of your time and you power through it and come out on top and stronger than before.
BUT even though you have those amazing. 'nothing can stop me now' moments, you WILL have those weaker ones. I can guarantee it! You can think that you've done so well that nothing can make you fail and when you least expect it BAM!

What you do when they hit is the key. How you react after you've indulged. Whether you let the evil win and take you over, or whether you banish it for the time being and kick some lifestyle ass. It's all in how you cope in those situations. Those little tests that we all have and will have. They are something that will continue to occur for the rest of your life. There will ALWAYS be temptation. It's not something you can ever get rid of.
Sometimes, it's great to give in to temptation. Let's face it - life is for living and being overly strict will only be an undoing.
Other times, the giving in to temptation will have you feeling terribly guilty. It will make you question why you bother? Why bother fighting it?

You fight because you are WORTH it. You fight because you know it's the right thing to do. You fight not only for you, but for the ones you love.

These situations will always be there. Now and forever. You have to ride the situations and accompanying emotions as best you can. You can scream and shout all you like. You can give in, but know that you HAVE to get right back on that rollercoaster and ride it all the way back to the top again.

I had a bad weekend. I don't have a decent excuse. Yes I had visitors. Yes I was so tired after training so hard on Saturday, looking after the kids and entertaining. Yes it's a little harder having the bad stuff in the house. But did someone else MAKE me eat it? Did someone force me at gun point to eat those 3 pieces of pizza? Was an IV of Coke placed in my hand while I was held down? NO! Noone else MADE me do any of this. It was my CHOICE. A choice that I should have realised at the time was a bad choice, but it was MY choice all the same.
Have I learnt from my mistakes? You bet I have! I have learnt that this is not going to be easy. That it's not all magically going to happen overnight. That I have to work HARD for it. I can't let my guard down for a second. It's not going to be easy, but it sure as heck is going to be worth it.

I got my backside right back on that 'wagon' and I'm back into it. I'm not hurting anyone but myself with this sabotage and what's the point in hurting myself? I'm worth so much more than that.

Just Fricking Do it! And, I am. ;)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Waiting for the day that I actually ENJOY running....

So I've been up since before the sun this morning for an early PT session. My early PT session is in town which involves a trip of around about 45 mins. I was early for my session so I walked 2 brisk laps before it started.... no point sitting in the car waiting doing nothing.
We did a circuit of 15's - 15 leg raise things, 15 kettle bells, 12 tricep curls and a run. We had to to 8 of these circuits as quickly as we could. Thankfully I didn't have to run as far so kept up with my super fit sister and BIL.
After that, they went for a 3km time trial and I just walked another 1.5kms. Nice way to burn 600 cals all before 9am.

I've since come home and finished off my fitness test (with the help of MIL who looked after the kids while I did my 1km time trial). Good grief I look forward to the day where I can run the whole 1km, and acutally ENJOY it! It's so hard to do it at this size although it's alot easier than it was 8 weeks (and nearly 17 kgs) ago ;)

My results have all improved. A couple of things I've moved from beginner to intermediate... and I'm nearly in advanced for push ups of all things (although I do them on my knees ;) ).

So my results as follows - remember... this is from someone lugging around between 145-150kgs, so there will be no stand out performances here.

1km time trial - wk 1 12m11sec   wk 4 11m23sec (48 secs off)
Push ups (in 1min) - wk 1 14, wk 4 29 (I'm only 1-2 off advanced!)
Wall sit (1 min) - wk 1 30secs,  wk 4 1m6sec
Ab stage - wk 1 0 (I could only get halfway up), wk 4 stage 1
Sit and reach - wk 1 -8, wk 4 -5

So improvements everywhere, some actually quite substantial. I'll be interested to see what the results will be after the 12 weeks.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I knew I liked Wednesdays for a reason....

Before 12wbt, Wednesdays felt like the week was going so slow. Now... Wednesdays can be either my favourite day, or least favourite... it depends what happens within my first 30mins that determines that.

So, Personal training last night was AWESOME! My PT totally kicked my ass! I burnt just under 500cals in the hour (last week was only 300 odd) and it was mainly weights with a little cardio. My thighs are complaining this morning but I told them to get over it, and went out for a walk. I cut 20mins off my time as I have a hectic day ahead with the kidlets, but I still managed a 343 cal burn which I'm happy with. Will get the zumba DVD out later on.

Measurements last night.... and I have lost 17cms from my body (21 cms with my PT's measurements which include arms and calves). Pretty happy with that. I'm also now concerned about my bridesmaids dress hanging off me in Jan if I keep pulling numbers like this... which I WILL!
Add to that my 2.8kg loss this week, and you can see why I'm concerned that in 3 months I have the potential to lose another 15odd kgs and possibly 45-50cms from my body measurements...... well that $330 dress and $85 bolero are looking like a bit fat waste of money. I think I'll call them today and go a size down.

Last night's dinner was AWESOME! Prawn and fetta pizza with baby spinach leaves. Yummo! Felt like we were having real pizza and now I won't feel like I'm missing out.

Isn't it funny how people always assume that healthy foods are bland and boring. The meals I've prepared over the last 8 weeks have been fantastic! Some have been a bit of a fail.... edible, but not enjoyable. Others have been absolute triumphs and considering how dodgy I am in the kitchen.... The family have been rather impressed!

This weeks loss brings me to 3.8kgs away from 20 kilos GONE. 20KGS!!!!!!!!! Holy crap! I thought that would take me something stupid like a year or 2 to shed, but it's taken 8 weeks. I LOVE this program. I'm just totally in the right frame of mind, even after a big fall like my netball trip. I can still manage to get right back into it and smash out some great numbers. If I really think about it, I have feelings of pride in myself. I LOVE that feeling.... It's not something I've felt alot.

Here's to another week of kicking calorie ass!


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So I've not followed the program exactly. I'm altering veggie contents and meals in accordance to my preferences. I'm still making good food choices, still counting cals and making sure I'm not going overboard.
Today I made a wholemeal pasta with bolognaise. I used Turkey mince, a store bought tomato sauce base, added some extra light ricotta and a sprinkle of cheese on top. That's all it involved and it was very satisfying, not to mention quite filling and worked it out to be just over 300cals. I ended up making another 3 serves that now reside in my freezer for nights/days where I find it difficult to get much done.
Tonight the plan is the prawn and fetta pizza and I'm looking forward to seeing how that one turns out.

The only thing I'm finding hard at the moment is the times we eat dinner. The kids eat theirs by 6pm every night so that they are sorted for when I have a class or PT that night... hubby just has to put them to bed by 7.30. At the moment because the IL's are staying, hubs has obviously decided that because MIL is here, he doesn't need to be home as early as he should be, so then I'm not getting my dinner organised at all before I leave, which means some nights I'm not eating until nearly 9pm. I find this is stuffing around with my brekky in the mornings and find some mornings I just can't stomach anything until at least 9am. I guess I just need to find  a better way to work things in a little better. I'm eating, I'm having one snack a day (if I feel like it and always before I head out for some form of training). I'm still not drinking enough water... *runs off to grab bottle*.
It's hard to navigate the fridge and freezer with so much stuff in it at the moment, but I need to remind myself that it's only for a short time.... which reminds me, I was TOTALLY going to have some chocolate a few hours ago but I forgot about it! YAY!

The last 2 days I've been going crazy trying to get stuck into organising my sister's hen's party for January next year. It seems very early to be organising it, but when you think about Christmas and New Years being in there, I really need to have it sorted asap. I'm enjoying it but also finding it a little difficult as I don't yet have exact numbers and trying to find appropriate transportation is proving tough. Fingers crossed we get that sorted (that's the biggest headache at the moment).
I then have to think about a costume as it's a theme party. It would be nice to buy something that fits now and it be a bit loose by the time the party comes around, but I'm only really drop 1-1.5kgs a week at the moment so I don't think it's going to make a huge difference.

See 1-1.5kgs is actually alot, but being this size it really is nothing. I'm doubting just how much it actually shows now even though I have had people tell me I look smaller. I guess to people who don't really take notice I probably don't look that much different. I'm disappointed that it takes me so long to burn 500 cals a session. That people 50kgs lighter than me can burn it much easier than I can. It's annoying that even being bigger than people I still have to work harder. I still can't get my head around the 'why', but I really to just suck it up and stop concentrating so much on numbers... JUST FRICKING DO IT!
It's so hard trying to shut this stupid voice in my head, because I rely on it so much to steer me in the right direction aswell. I'd love to one day find the right balance.

I've been slack the last 2 days. Strength training was cancelled last night. I need to stop relying so much on other people and really get more done with my day. I'm annoyed with myself that I had planned to do some zumba today and I've not done it. I'm looking forward to my double PT session tonight, but it's not going to get me over my 500 cals for the day.
I think to myself some days, it's ok. At least I'm moving! At least I'm eating well and generally I move everyday. Yesterday sucked and I really need to get back into my early morning walks again.

Next week is the return of normalcy to a degree. Kinder starts back up which means my Monday 1.5-2hour walk returns. Mondays will be back over 500cals every week again. Playgroup starts up again and I usually make sure I'm up early and off for a walk before every playgroup, so hopefully that motivates me a little too. I'm loving my zumba classes and don't want to give them up, but I'm feeling a tad guilty about being out of the house 3 nights a week. I'm sure with some more fab results hubby won't be too bothered by it. He can see what effects it's having on me and he can't argue that they aren't pretty positive.

Blah. Enough waffle. Going to get my frame of mind into total the total ass kicking zone and completely smash out PT tonight. I owe it to myself to work harder than I have before.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

So, I'm out. LOL
I've told lots of people about the program I'm doing, the weight I've lost etc etc etc, but NEVER about this blog. I feel safe here knowing that most people who read this don't actually 'know' me. Well, that is now over. LOL (HELLO MY REAL LIFE FRIENDS!! haha).
I will NOT allow that to stop me being so honest. This blog afterall is about me, for me. I'm more than happy to share it in the hopes it might inspire others, but if I'm totally honest... it's all about me.

This week has been interesting. After my netball trip gain and subsequent smaller losses, I've finally gotten back down under where I was before I left. It's taken about 10 days to work off 2 days of crap..... that really SUCKS when you think about it!!

So, this week I've worked hard. I have indulged a little, but I've made sure I make up for that indulgence by getting right back on top of things. None of this "Well, I've eaten/drunken that now, I may aswell go nuts cos it's going to ruin everything anyway...."
Pfftt! CRAP!
I've had my fave pair of denim shorts that are only 3 months old fall down around my ankles constantly (and nearly been sprung by family!!) whilst out collecting wood (lucky I live rurally!). I've bought a size down in jeans (big win!). I wore a top today that I've had for a few years that is 2 sizes down from where I was just 7 weeks ago. I've found a beautiful bridesmaid dress that my sister adores that actually FITS and looks good on me. I've worked hard with my training, I organised a Sat morning PT session before we went shopping. I didn't eat SHIT while out shopping (sitting in the Chadstone food court and I went for a clear soup and good gosh it was fab!). I've done a bit. I even got off my giant backside and went for a walk tonight.
I've got my training schedule worked out for the coming week and I'm almost looking forward to Wednesdays weigh in. I'm hoping like mad my hard work pays off!

And I've learnt something. I can have a weekend out. No frills attached, let your hair down, enjoy yourself type weekend and still come out on top. It's taken restraint, will power and hard work to do it, but I know now what I'm in for. It's great to know what I need to do to avoid massive gains. That I CAN still have fun and limit the shit.

Life is pretty good right now. Oh and I'm only 35kgs off my QLD holiday with Hubs NO KIDS! WHOOP!!