NOW I remember those squats...

A day after doing a piddly 30 squats (super low ones to really test the knee out ;)) and 30 lunges and I can feel it. That is REALLY scary as that is absolutely NOTHING in comparison to what I was doing before I got my injury. I'm quite scared now to go back to boot camp and PT next week. Best get hubby onto some massage...

My number 1 tip - Don't stop training!!! EVER!!! You lose your fitness SO quickly. It's going to take me ages to build back up to where I was, but I'll get there!!

Super excited about squats and lunges - No, I haven't gone completely bonkers!

Good news!!
My knee/hamstring tendon/surrounding muscles have improved enough to the point where I can now lunge and squat without pain!! I'm SO excited!! I've been walking without a limp for one whole week which has been great, but getting the news from the physio that I can no go back to training (not running just yet) has made my fricking year!!

Not being able to run, play netball, do bootcamp or any of my classes for 5 full weeks now has really not done me any favours. I've been very lucky in that I haven't gained weight. I haven't eaten well though and I assume that my metabolism has just sped up and been able to cope with a few weeks of shit. Thankfully!
Now, I'm going to get right back into training - HARD CORE

I start off with longer walks - 3-5kms building up to 6-7kms before I do a 10km fun run (which I will walk) on June 10th. I have sets os squats and lunges and hamstring strengthening exercises to do several times a day and all going well, I get to hop back on the netball court in 3 weeks!! Gosh I feel like I've been away from exercise for months! I know my fitness levels will have taken a massive hit even though I've been doing little things that I could (boxing etc) while I've been off, but I'm prepared to put in the work to get back where I was.

I'm fricking stoked though!! Bring on the blood, sweat and tears (minus a little blood).

Just makes me even more determined to kick some arse this round.

Different

It feels different this time around.

Round 2 is MY round. I can feel it. Even if I don't crack the 20kgs lost, I will still kick some butt and I know I WILL crack it soon after.

I'm drinking tonnes of water. I'm aiming for at least 2.5 litres a day at the moment. I'm trying really hard to make good food choices. I'm actively thinking about what I should put in my body. I have had a couple of slip ups but that's ok.... it took me years to get to this point. My head is going to be the hardest thing to fix.

I've has a bowl of salad for lunch today. Yes I added some light mayo and a sprinkle of cheese, but in comparison to what I've been having it was actually really very good. I've already got dinner organised in my head which I'll begin cooking soon before I have to duck out for a meeting at a pub where we were offered a meal, but I turned down. I don't need it, it will only hinder my progress and I WANT to eat as cleanly as I can when I can help it.

I nearly feel as dedicated as I was my first round (round 3, 2011 where I lost 27.5kgs from day 1 of preseason until the final weigh in).

I know once I can start running and weight bearing on my dodgy leg, things will certainly go in the right direction. I cannot WAIT to hit the netball court and get back to my hard core training again.


I like where my head is at. Sure I can certainly improve things, but it's definitely heading in thee right direction.

Less to lose than I already have!

Yes I've finally hit THAT milestone... I've now lost more than I still need to lose (if that makes any sense at all! haha).
Today, I hit the 40kgs lost mark. I now have 38kgs to lose to reach my goal weight!! Very exciting!

I've been so close to this day for a long time now and it's nice to finally see the scales moving in the right direction.

Hubby and I have found our motivation and determination and we're ready to kick round 2 ass!

                                        10 months & 40kgs difference (me last night on the right)

I had an AMAZING night last night with my local girls. Another local 12wbter and I organised a cocktail party to celebrate each other and it was a fantastic night! We seem to all get along really well and it's so nice having people that can relate to what I'm going through, to motivate and encourage me and be so close (well, as close as can be when I live here in the middle of nowhere!).

I've just had an awesome weekend. My eating (apart from last night and today) has been really good, my water uptake has increased a heap and I'm feeling better already. I cannot WAIT to get back into running and really busting my backside to burn off some calories.

I've got a good feeling about this round.

Round 2 here we come!!

It's ON!! I just signed up for round 2!!

Hubby and I were talking last night and he was saying how he wants to lose some more weight. How he's disappointed with the last few months and he feels like he's gained. It's exactly how I feel, so I jumped in.

I know how hard I have to work and I know I need the help to get there. I've got hubby and our supportive families behind us and It's ON!!

20kgs be gone by August. It WILL happen and you can watch it all take place right here!

I'm not going to let anything get in my way this time.

So on the weekend, I got to attend the round 1 finale party and workout in Melbourne. I'd been so excited at the prospect of being able to catch up with people I'd been chatting to for many months now. It was a fantastic weekend apart from the fact that my original guest injured her back at a last minute training session late on Friday morning (2 hours before we were due to leave) and was unable to attend. I did got onto my Mum though who I stole from work 4 hours early and dragged down for a weekend. ;)

Unfortunately due to my hamstring tendon still not being where it needs to be, I couldn't do the workout. I watched while my Mum and many many girls who have been so inspirational toughed it out. I am sad that I missed it though.

The finale party that night was great, although was soured by the long wait to get in (was expecting a bit of a wait, but it took us 45 mins in a line before we got in) and extreme rudeness from a group of 'ladies' (I use the term loosely) who abused us while they jumped out of line for photos and we stepped forward. Apart from being very rude, they were then rather pushy and found their way in ahead of us (I'm not one who enjoys confrontation so just let them go). It really soured the evening for us and we weren't able to enjoy it as much as we would have lied to.

The plaza ballroom was gorgeous. I'm so sad that I couldn't find any of my local 12wbters due to the lack of service for our phones down there, but I did get to mingle (not for long enough) with many many ladies who I'd been dying to meet. Was a great night and one that I'd head to again in the future.

So where am I at now? I'm still pretty much out with this tendon stuff, although just starting to walk reasonable distances. A veyr slow build up to make sure that my knee and leg are coping ok with it. I'm not keen to push too hard and render myself useless for however many more weeks again. I'm planning a 10km fun run (which I'll walk and possibly jog a tiny bit of after physio advice) on June 10th which will be my first major exercise achievement in well over 2 months. I'm also hoping by the end of June to get back to netball again... I've been unable to play this season so far and we started mid April!!

Weight wise I've not done too badly. I've let the fact I can't train and the ensuing depression it brings really affect my diet to the point where I'm not even thinking about what I'm putting in my mouth. I'm very lucky that I've not really gained anything and am floating around the same weight I was when I injured myself.
I've got to be pretty happy with that!

After my weekend away I felt different. Although I've come along way weight loss and fitness wise, I still felt out of place. I still felt massively huge. I felt like I'd not lost anything (logically I know I've lost a LOT, but the mind games I play with myself never let me think about things logically these days). I felt like I was the biggest person at the finale party on Saturday night. I felt gross in my gorgeous dress I was excited to wear. It was a real kick in the guts but also a real eye opener - I may have come a fair way, but there's still an ever further way to go.

So when I got back to B town on Sunday around lunch time, I decided to go and get my hair trimmed. I ended up taking around 30cms of length of it which was more than I'd envisaged when I decided to get my hair cut, but I don't regret it at all. Some people say that a big change like that means something... maybe I'm turning a corner? Maybe I'm ready to really have a good crack at losing the rest of this weight? I mean, I've not really been in hard core weightloss mode since just before Christmas and I'm really disappointed that I wasted round 1.

I haven't yet signed up for round 2. Before the weekend I'd decided to have this round off and come back next round. I'm now considering doing it. I know I still need a LOT of help with my mindset. I need the support that the forums and FB groups offer. I need someone to tell me what to do, where I need to fix things.

I think back to where I was at the very beginning of my journey. August last year. Desperate to lose the weight. Totally committed to getting it off. Watching the numbers fall every single week. Feeling so good about myself when I got under the 150kg mark. Feeling awesome hitting the 139's, like I could go all the way to goal.

I'm currently sitting at 125kgs. I've got exactly 40 kgs I want to lose to get to my goal. I've lost 38kgs. I CAN do this... heck I've already done it!!! I just need to love and respect myself enough to do it. I need to stop worrying about other people, and worry about ME!! I'm not doing this for anyone else... this is MY time.

Broken

So I'm out. An injury has totally halted any ideas of training I've had at the moment. I am planning on getting back into some when I can control the pain but for the time being rest, ice and panadeine forte are my pals.




So you'd think that I would be ok with a rest. Gosh, I've been going gung ho for 9 months now, I deserve one. Thanks to my awesome new mindset, each day of not training is causing me mental anguish. Now, mental anguish is not normally a 'good' thing, but I am taking it as a win! Clearly I'm that into training and exercising that it does my head in when I'm not and that is AWESOME! I LOVE training with a passion now and I'm like a lost little puppy without it, but I KNOW I'll be back bigger and better when my knee heals. I just need to take the cues from my body and rest up.




Then the whole 'oh no I'm going to gain everything I've lost' comes into mind. Well, not this week. This week while resting and not taking too much notice of what I've been consuming, I managed to LOSE weight, and it wasn't just a minimal loss - 4.4kgs. Yep, you read right, I dropped 4.4kgs IN A WEEK!! That's my biggest loss to date and brings me pretty much to my half way mark and very close to 40kgs down now. Very exciting, but also very confusing. Not going to think about it too much though... just going to take it as a huge win!



I saw my physio today who's very impressed with my weightloss and she's going to work with me to try and get this knee back into training mode as quickly as possible.
I'm excited to think about being able to walk again properly soon, it's only been 10 days but feels like AGES!



I'm also excited because I feel my mojo coming back. I've got a goal. I am really keen to shed more kgs. I want 20kgs off at least by the end of the year. I'd love to drop the whole 39, but I want to take it a little slower. I want to pressure myself to lose the weight, but not too much because with everything else going on in life at the moment, I could very possibly implode.



And now for the kids.......



Sorry I haven't blogged often. I'm hoping to find a little more time now to reflect on where I've come from and where I'm at now. I'm hoping to be able to set some goals for the near future and I'd LOVE to celebrate that 40kg loss sometime in the next 2 weeks. Fingers crossed!