Bloating away....

Stupid AF (or TTOTM for those who know it as that).
Being a chick a fair amount of the time sucks, it really does. We have to deal with these monthly visits, the associated pain, the pain of childbirth, the pain of recovering from childbirth, the pain of easier weight gain and harder weight loss than our male counterparts.... need I go on?
AF make me bloat now. I'm not too bad today, I've been worse in the last few months. Before I started losing weight, I never noticed any bloating, nor did I notice the mood swings etc. I realised half way through last round that not only was my weight disgusting and my fitness levels poor, my hormones must have been severely affected. My body reacts in totally different ways now, now that I've lost nearly 1/5th of myself. It's really WEIRD! I thought I knew everything there was to know about myself, but I'm learning more and more as I go along.

It's interesting the changes.

Last night for the first time in 5 months, I was DREADING training. I wasn't looking forward to working out. I NEVER have that problem! Exercise is the one thing that I do not struggle with in my journey. I love it. Even the dirty lycra contraptions we are made to wear playing netball.... :S
I was close to giving training the flick last night, but I didn't. I applied the 10 minute rule and it got me through.
The 10 minute Rule: If you feel like you really don't want to train, get up and go for 10 minutes. If after those 10 minutes you really want to stop, then stop.
I found after 10 mins I was right into it and really keen to see out the rest of the training session.
I guess it's not just the idea of our netball training sessions being really tough at the moment ( LOTS of running - we are focused on fitness during this pre season). It's probably got more to do with the fact that I am the biggest player in the club. I was the last 2 seasons as well and it didn't worry me overly (of course I thought about it a lot), but this season quite a few of my club mates know that I've lost weight. I think about what they expect in terms of my fitness now. That they expect me still at 133kgs to be able to sprint with the best of them - I can't. I don't know that I ever will. I was never renowned for my speedy and agility, more for my skills and stamina. I KNOW that I've got so much more stamina and overall fitness than I did last season.... I do worry that no one can see that though.

If only I could keep myself busy long enough that I didn't even have a chance to think about these stupid things.

I did notice today that my blog has had 3,000 hits! Wow! I never thought about getting past 3! haha. It's not well written by any means, but it is everything that spews out of my head when I sit to type. It's raw, it's real and it's honest. I hope that people can appreciate how hard it is for me to release some of this to the public.
5 months ago there was no way in hell I EVER would have put my name to anything like this, let alone share it AND have pictures of myself on here!
There are those changes again. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I like to think that with each kg of weight lost, with each kg of fat removed from my body, I have the room to grow emotionally. To change as a person, for the better.