Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So I've not followed the program exactly. I'm altering veggie contents and meals in accordance to my preferences. I'm still making good food choices, still counting cals and making sure I'm not going overboard.
Today I made a wholemeal pasta with bolognaise. I used Turkey mince, a store bought tomato sauce base, added some extra light ricotta and a sprinkle of cheese on top. That's all it involved and it was very satisfying, not to mention quite filling and worked it out to be just over 300cals. I ended up making another 3 serves that now reside in my freezer for nights/days where I find it difficult to get much done.
Tonight the plan is the prawn and fetta pizza and I'm looking forward to seeing how that one turns out.

The only thing I'm finding hard at the moment is the times we eat dinner. The kids eat theirs by 6pm every night so that they are sorted for when I have a class or PT that night... hubby just has to put them to bed by 7.30. At the moment because the IL's are staying, hubs has obviously decided that because MIL is here, he doesn't need to be home as early as he should be, so then I'm not getting my dinner organised at all before I leave, which means some nights I'm not eating until nearly 9pm. I find this is stuffing around with my brekky in the mornings and find some mornings I just can't stomach anything until at least 9am. I guess I just need to find  a better way to work things in a little better. I'm eating, I'm having one snack a day (if I feel like it and always before I head out for some form of training). I'm still not drinking enough water... *runs off to grab bottle*.
It's hard to navigate the fridge and freezer with so much stuff in it at the moment, but I need to remind myself that it's only for a short time.... which reminds me, I was TOTALLY going to have some chocolate a few hours ago but I forgot about it! YAY!

The last 2 days I've been going crazy trying to get stuck into organising my sister's hen's party for January next year. It seems very early to be organising it, but when you think about Christmas and New Years being in there, I really need to have it sorted asap. I'm enjoying it but also finding it a little difficult as I don't yet have exact numbers and trying to find appropriate transportation is proving tough. Fingers crossed we get that sorted (that's the biggest headache at the moment).
I then have to think about a costume as it's a theme party. It would be nice to buy something that fits now and it be a bit loose by the time the party comes around, but I'm only really drop 1-1.5kgs a week at the moment so I don't think it's going to make a huge difference.

See 1-1.5kgs is actually alot, but being this size it really is nothing. I'm doubting just how much it actually shows now even though I have had people tell me I look smaller. I guess to people who don't really take notice I probably don't look that much different. I'm disappointed that it takes me so long to burn 500 cals a session. That people 50kgs lighter than me can burn it much easier than I can. It's annoying that even being bigger than people I still have to work harder. I still can't get my head around the 'why', but I really to just suck it up and stop concentrating so much on numbers... JUST FRICKING DO IT!
It's so hard trying to shut this stupid voice in my head, because I rely on it so much to steer me in the right direction aswell. I'd love to one day find the right balance.

I've been slack the last 2 days. Strength training was cancelled last night. I need to stop relying so much on other people and really get more done with my day. I'm annoyed with myself that I had planned to do some zumba today and I've not done it. I'm looking forward to my double PT session tonight, but it's not going to get me over my 500 cals for the day.
I think to myself some days, it's ok. At least I'm moving! At least I'm eating well and generally I move everyday. Yesterday sucked and I really need to get back into my early morning walks again.

Next week is the return of normalcy to a degree. Kinder starts back up which means my Monday 1.5-2hour walk returns. Mondays will be back over 500cals every week again. Playgroup starts up again and I usually make sure I'm up early and off for a walk before every playgroup, so hopefully that motivates me a little too. I'm loving my zumba classes and don't want to give them up, but I'm feeling a tad guilty about being out of the house 3 nights a week. I'm sure with some more fab results hubby won't be too bothered by it. He can see what effects it's having on me and he can't argue that they aren't pretty positive.

Blah. Enough waffle. Going to get my frame of mind into total the total ass kicking zone and completely smash out PT tonight. I owe it to myself to work harder than I have before.

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