THAT photo....

Sunday and yesterday were pretty horrible days. Sunday afternoon I got hubs to take THAT photo. In just a bra and undies. I knew it was going to be bad, but having already lost between 10 and 12 kgs in pre season, I figured it would be half ok.....
How wrong I was.
It was honestly, the most disgusting, horrendous thing I have ever seen. That picture is so depressing. I was so angry with myself for being ok at that weight. It's NOT ok. To be a little truthful, I'm also a little upset that noone really TRIED to get through to me before now. How could they love me and not be worried about me at this size? I guess they loved me so much that they didn't want to hurt me, but look at where not hurting me got. :(
I HATE that photo. I hate it with a passion. I was sick to my stomach as I uploaded it to my stats page last night. I felt like I was going to vomit. It was absolutely horrible and I feel terribly ill thinking that even a couple of people will see it. :( Here's to NEVER looking like that EVER EVER again!!!

I guess in a way it was a good test. I was depressed seeing it Sunday night so went for a walk. I was depressed seeing it yesterday, so busted my backside at training. I not once even considered gorging on junk and crap. Not once. That really shows me just how far I've come in only 4 weeks.

Today I decided to start my fitness test. Oh what fun this is going to be over the next 12 weeks with 2 toddlers in tow... :S Just after my first lap of the oval my daughter was screaming at me and I hit a pothole and rolled my ankle. Fricking Annoying!!!! I helped her whizz on the oval (when you gotta go, you gotta go!) and just sat for a few minutes before stretching my ankle for a minute, then standing on it to test it, then deciding to just get back into it so I started again. I was planning on running for at least a little of the 1km, but I didn't want to push my ankle any further than it needed to.... I cannot afford to stop training!
So I did the 2.5 laps of the football oval (approx 1km) in 12mins and 11 secs. I guess for just walking that's not too bad and I'm sure had I have done it a few weeks ago it would have been slower. It will be interesting to see if I can go any faster in 4 weeks.
I'm about to go into the lounge room and complete the rest of the test. I can already tell it's not going to be great results, but this is for ME and noone else. These results are for me to compare every 4 weeks and see just how much fitter I am getting.
I'll be strapping my ankle full time from now on so I don't have to worry about it again. Stupid netball injuries!

On another note: I did change my 12wbt weight loss goals yesterday. Since I've already achieved approx 10kgs which was my 12 week goal, I'm now going for 20kgs from yesterday until the end of the 12 weeks. It's ON!